Christmas ( :

Well my Christmas was really good! The Christmas Eve service at my church was amazing! I loved all the songs that they did and afterwards me and PNick [The awesome youth pastor] served hot chocolate and cookies and whatnot. I also got to see Alex P-Rizzle, who i haven't seen in literally forEVER! And it was great getting to see him again, cause i've known him since i was like, in sixth grade, then i didn't see him for super long time. So it was pretty awesome... Christmas morning was tiring, but good. My little sister, Haley, woke me up at 7am cause she was shaking me and yelling, ''Wah!, Danae, it's Christmas Day!!''. Which i was not excited about waking up that early, but i was okay with it eventually. Then we all went down stairs to find our stockings stuffed full with awesomeness. In there i got a passport holder- Which i needed before i went back to Kenya, Luggage tags- Which i also needed, and tons of other good things. Then my parents woke up. So i made coffee, cause i wouldn't be able to survive the day without it! And we all started to open gifts. I got a new camera, cause my little sister lost mine while she was on a trip with her best friend to California. Some awesome kick butt boots! A new wallet. This really awesome coffee mug from World Market that is zebra print and has a zebra inside of it! And a few other things... After we had all opened presents and such, my mom started to make our big Christmas breakfast. But we found out that when my dad went to get the groceries for this breakfast, he forgot the eggs! And we only had 3 eggs in the refridgerator. But the roads were too icy to get out of the house yet. So my family of five people had biscuits, gravy, sausage, bacon, and three eggs for everyone :P   After we had finished breakfast we all packed up and headed to my Grandparents house in East Texas. There we met my Uncle and had more presents, and even more food!  Then the rest of the day consisted of playing apples to apple, watching football, and hanging out playing the wii.   All-in-all my Christmas was great!

How Many Kings

This is a song by the band called Downhere. It's really amazing.
It's called, 'How Many Kings'
Enjoy(:

Follow the star to a place unexpected


Would you believe after all we’ve projected

A child in a manger

Lowly and small, the weakest of all

Unlikeliness hero, wrapped in his mothers shawl

Just a child

Is this who we’ve waited for?

Cause how many kings, stepped down from their thrones?

How many lords have abandoned their homes?

How many greats have become the least for me?

How many Gods have poured out their hearts

To romance a world that has torn all apart?

How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn savior

All that we have whether costly or meek

Because we believe

Gold for his honor and frankincense for his pleasure

And myrrh for the cross he’ll suffer

Do you believe, is this who we’ve waited for?

It’s who we’ve waited for

How many kings, stepped down from their thrones?

How many lords have abandoned their homes?

How many greats have become the least for me?

How many Gods have poured out their hearts

To romance a world that has torn all apart?

How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Only one did that for me

It's worth it.

Sometimes people run away from the very thing they need the most. Not realizing that what they feel they're running to is standing right infront of them. Only seeing the pain they'll have to go through, but being blinded from the healing brought in the end. Is it worth it? The time? The effort? The pain? We can never truly know until we have the experience. But life, to keep going through this thing called life is worth it. It's worth the wait, the strength, the endurance that's needed. Life is worth it. To live is worth it. To continue.... is worth it.

So Why Not??

I wrote this really late one night when i couldn't go to sleep cause i felt very overwhelmed. One of my good friends stopped talking to me completely. He ignores me and won't give me the time of day at all. There's a really long sotry behond why that has happened... Then i had an aunt try to commit suicide the Sunday before Thanksgiving. She was too stressed out and she felt alone and deserted... So as i was laying in my bed i was realizing how all of these feelings that my Friend and my Aunt have could be avoided. To give it to God is the solution. There are times to where we hold out on God, we'll only give Him the good things about us and the good things in our lives. But we forget that God wants it all. If my Friend and my Aunt would give everything to God- to lay everything down at His feet- then things would be so much better for them. So i pray that they will realize that soon.... And that's how this little thing came about. Hope you enjoy :)

Why don't we give our all? How come we don't see God as He truly is? If we only knew the pain He felt when we sin. If we only knew how much He really gave just so we could draw near to Him. To pay our debt He became the ransom. And so save our lives, He gave it all. Why don't we realize what He has done? But more importantly, why don't we realize who He is? He is the king of kings. He is the Lord of Lords. He is power and He is strength. Yet He is loving and He is compassionate. He is mighty and He is triumphant. Yet when we are overwhelmed, He is the still small voice that speaks softly to our soul. If we could even begin to grasp who He truly is, that is when we would give Him our all. He desires us, our all! Our everything! The beaufitul parts, the ugly parts, the good parts, the bad parts. Everything. He wants everything. Lay it down to him. Just give it to Him. Not out of obligation, but out of love... He loves us, so why not?

~~RDanaeJ
"There is nothing more fulfilling than being completely empty because you gave it all to God"-me.

.You Are.

Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are
The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are
Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are
The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart
Take me apart
Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are
The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are
All I am I want to lay down at Your feet

~~Tenth Avenue North

Thanksgiving

So this Thanksgiving I'm in Lubbock with all of my Dad's side of the family. It's pretty awesome cause i haven't seen them since last thanksgivng. But I've decided that i'm going to let y'all know what all i'm thankful for.... So here i goes :).....

• I'm most thankful for God. Without him i don't know where i would be right now. He's loved me when i felt unlovable. He's comforted me when i've felt scared. He's given me peace when i fell like there's only chaos. He's given me hope when i feel overwhelmed and hopeless. And most important of all, He's saved me and paid the price that no one else could ever pay.
• My family. Theyre the one's that are always there for me. My parents have directed me to God and his everlasting love. My sisters have always been around to make me laugh when i want to cry, and to always love me for who i am.
• My friends. Oh my goodness. Me and my friends are insane. Really. We're always sarcastic and loud, obnoxious, crazy, and so much more. But in the end we are always here for eachother. Through thick and thin. I know that they will always have my back, and i will be able to trust them with anything.
• The people i look up to in my life. Ofcourse my parents. John Penry- Who can trust and rely on God more than anyone else i know. I've known him for a while and he's awesome, he always saw potenial in me when i didn't. Jenna Meister- She is an amazing Woman of God and she is always looking to build people up and encourge them when they're down. Yvonne Newman- She has always been there for me when friends may come and go. She is amazing. Aaron Money- That guy just always kicks me in the butt whenever i don't feel like rising to the callenge, he just makes me do it.

There are so any more things that i'm thankful for, but i didn't want this post to be like 10 pages long :P
That's all for now!
Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
~Danae
PS- I'm also very thankful for cranberry sauce and greenbean casserole!! Those are my favorites :)

{[(PROPHECY)}}

At Paradigm's fall retreat, Encore, I got a prophecy from the guest speaker-- Trammel Orr. It was extremely confirming for the season in my life that i'm going through, and also confirming for my future and the calling that God placed on me.
It was in the middle of an altar call about the fire of God. And he was just being so lead by the Spirit that it was crazy. He prophecied about a few people, then he prophecied about me. He said:
"There's is a young girl in here who is called to Africa. That seems like it's not a big deal- many people are called to Africa, but it really is a big deal cause she is so called to be there. Her heart is for missions. She just has such a desire to be there that she would go right now if she could. In fact, she is so called there to where when she sees the commercials with the starving children in Africa her heart breaks, when she sees africa on a map she just wants to cry, and she even has dreams about it [sidenote:little did he know that i actually did have a dream about it the night before he was saying this]. But whoever you may be, you need to know that this time in your life is a time of preparation and of purification. You're being refined. God hasnt forgotten about it being your calling. He hasn't forgotten about you. But you just have to go through this season in your life. Your time is coming. Don't worry. It's coming."

Immediately when he said "Young girl called to Africa" everyone turned and looked at me! It was kind of funny :P But as i was listening to the speaker's message right before all of this, I was just praying telling God that i needed confirmation. I needed to know that i know that it's going to come to pass, that He hadn't forgotten about it being my calling too. I was feeling like God forgot about it being my calling. Which sounds stupid and funny, but that's what it felt like. A lot of people that i care about so much are getting to be missionaries. Katelyn Rackley is moving to Africa with her family this next december. The Barkers moved to France and they got prayed out as missionaries, and God is going to be using them as missionaries eventhough the move was because of their dad's job. Then Penry has a goal of being a full time missionary in two years... All these people that i can't imagine my life without are moving away. And not only are they moving away, but they're becoming missionaries. When i heard this i was SO jealous! :P Which is lame, but i really was jealous. I thought' "God, this is my calling too! Why aren't i going anywhere!? What's going on? Why have you given me a heart for missions if i'm not doing anything with it!? Send me please!!" Then in my next quiet time that i had of just spending time with God, He revealed to me what He had in mind for me in this season of my life.He gave me Proverbs 25:4. It says, "Remove the impurities from the silver, and the sterling will be ready for the silversmith." [That was new living translation]. Basically what i got form that verse is that I am right now just silver. Though it is pretty and valuable, it still has work to be done. There is another level of purity it can get to. Sterling is far more pure than silver and it's more beautiful and of a far greater value. I am called to become sterling. Purity is more than just not lusting. It's something that is in every area of your life. You can't have purity in only one part of your life, it has to be in all of it. Purity not only in your mind, but in your motives- Do you go to church cause you want to, or cause you have to? Purity not only in your heart, but in your words- Do you speak more life or death over things? For me purity and integrity go hand-in-hand.... In that verse God is obviously the silversmith :p haha. But when it said "and the sterling will be ready for the silversmith" That shows me how there are things that God is going to use me for great things, but he can't right now. A silversmith can't use silver for things that call for sterling. God is still planning on using me for His will, but just not yet. He is calling me to a higher level of purification and preparation before He is going to send me....... Even though God revealed all of this to me, i still needed confirmation. It was still so hard to realize that my time is coming. I just needed confirmation for a peace of mind.... And there it was, at Encore. Trammel Orr said everything that i needed to hear. It feels so good to know that i'm actually going to move to Africa and be a missionary someday! :)  Now i am getting the chance to go BACK to Kenya, Africa this summer-- For my third time :)

This Picture was taken at the biggest slum in all of Africa, it's called Kibara.

Spiritual attack.

Tuesday night i was praying right before i was going to sleep.
Then all of the sudden i hear these echoing footsteps in my room! They were like villan in mansion footsteps! They were loud and evil sounding. But creepy spiritual stuff has happened before to me. Only when I'm praying though. So usually I will just pray it away... So i tried doing that. But it didn't work. Then it sounded like there was a fight right outside my window! Like a legitimate man on man fight, right outside my window!! But.......... I kind of live on the second story of my house. So i was praying even harder after that!!! I was praying so loud and hard i was surprised that i didn't wake up the whole house! But the harder i prayed the louder it got! I was praying so hard, for so long.. But it was always just a little louder and harder then my praying. So being scared to where i'm pretty sure it was a miracle that i didn't pee my pants- i just grabbed my pillow and ran out of my room and i slept in the hall...

But now looking back on it, i wish that i would have done more. Prayed even more. Claimed more authority. Even though i didn't do all that this last time, i know that there will be more times to come.

I was at Robert and Valarie's house spending the night Friday w/Val and Kirsten. And me and Kirsten were talking about all of it. Then we got on the subject of demonic stuff. Whether it was demons being cast out of people at a youth camp, or just stuff that happens to different people. Then she was telling me this story about Smith Wigglesworth. One night He and his wife were in bed sleeping. Then all of the sudden Smith Wigglesworth wakes up in the middle of the night to seeing satan standing at the end of his bed! Then Smith W. says, "Oh... It's just you" And he falls back asleep!!!!! When she was telling me this story i was like, Holy crap! That's insane! Cause it really is... Imagine if you wake up in the middle of the night to seeing satan standing right in front of you! I don't even know what i would've done! Smith Wigglesworth had amazing strength and authority and confidence through God. I wish i would have had that. To have that authority, confidence and strength would be amazing... But right now i am focusing on having the absence of fear. Cause until the fear is gone i cannot have those things. So please be praying for me, just to get rid of this fear that i have. Cause it really freaked me out when i couldn't pray those things away.
"So humble yourselves before the God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." -James 4:7

PS- When all that creepy stuff happened in my room when i was praying. It happened right when i was praying for my friend's mom-- Abrik's mom. She has pancreatic cancer. They found out about a month ago. It's inoperable cancer. So really the only thing that will heal her is a miracle. Lucky thing God is on our side, and He's going to heal her. I just know it.

7 "Awake, O sword, against my shepherd,
against the man who is close to me!"
declares the LORD Almighty.
"Strike the shepherd,
and the sheep will be scattered,
and I will turn my hand against the little ones.
8 In the whole land," declares the LORD,
"two-thirds will be struck down and perish;
yet one-third will be left in it.
9 This third I will bring into the fire;
I will refine them like silver
and test them like gold.
They will call on my name
and I will answer them;
I will say, 'They are my people,'
and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' "

Zechariah 13:7-9

Oh sweet anticipation(:

So today at my house it was cloudy, drizzly, cool, and sort of windy. Perfect weather in my book! But i cannot wait until winter! I love everything about winter time! The scarves, hats, coats, hot chocolate, and winter boots! It's my favorite time of year! So when i opened the door to let my dogs into the backyard i got SOOO excited!! :D And in my anticipation i went upstairs to my room and put on my boots, scarf, and coat. HaHaHa.

Then i sat on my roof. Cause my window opens to the roof above the garage. And as i sat there- super excited about winter getting closer and closer- God was showing me how He's excited for winter too. Cause if it makes me happy, then He is happy. God has put those things in our lives that make us happy or joyful cause he wants us to feel that way. Another thing that makes me happy is sunflowers. I don't know why, but i love sunflowers! So whenever i see one it makes me feel good. And God loves it when we're happy and joyful. He wants us to feel that way about life. So it was just really cool to realize how much He cares for us, and the way we're feeling. If we're sad, He wants to hold us in His arms. If we're lonely, He wants to hold our hand. And if we're joyful and happy He wants to celebrate with us, enjoy life with us. He cares about the little things, even the little stupid stuff that could make you happy, but could mean nothing to someone else. :)

these past few weeks...

So this past few weeks have been weird, really weird...
My mom has been sick. I've been sick. We had to take my mom to the hospital once, and almost another time. She's been having the worst stomach pain to where she can't even stand up straight or breathe deep without almost crying from the pain. So when we took her to the hospital the first time they told us that they ran some tests couldn't figure out what was wrong and sent her home with some pain medication and an antibiotic for a bladder infection. So after that they scheduled her for some more tests tomorrow and Thursday. But last night we all-of-the-sudden found out that she's allergic to the pain medication. So we almost had to take her to the hospital again, but luckily the pharmacist said that she'd be fine with some benadryl and sleep. So right now she's still in a buttload of pain, and we're just waiting for the tests tomorrow and Thursday.

But lately one thing that God has been teaching me is that I need to take advantage of the time i have, with the people i have around me. John Penry talked to me last Wednesday about becoming a small group leader this semester cause Cameron didn't have a girl leader, and they don't have enough inters. And for those of you who don't know:: That's been my goal in Paradigm to become a small group leader ever since i became a student leader. So when he told me that I was a high possibility for being Cameron's co-leader I was ecstatic!! It made me so excited. But was this God's timing for me? Was i ready for this? Could i possibly handle it? I didn't really have an answer to those questions. So me and Penry were going to both pray about it from Wednesday to Sunday then he would make a decision. So since i wanted it SO bad it was really hard to me to figure out wether God wanted me to take this opportunity, or if my desire for it was getting in the way of my really hearing form God- to figure out my feeling were getting in the way of God's voice. So long story short I didn't get the small group. But it was because they wanted Cameron to build more relationships with people before he got a smallgroup. So i'm in Nathan and Trish's group! And i'm really excited! God is showing me how really amazing all the people in my life truly are! So i am going to really soak up everything that Nate 'n' Trish have for me :) I'm also going to be more of an encouragement to everyone. So every week i'm going to write a note to two people telling them how awesome they are. Cause who doesn't love encouragement?? lol.

..::David::..

I've been putting off posting this for a while now. I couldn't figure out how to tell this story. But i guess I'll just start typing and hope it all works out :)

Wednesday night in LA we did a homeless ministry. The night had started out VERY spirit-lead. Before we were even to the Cannon--The place where the whole sha-bang went down--I was walking in my spiritual gifts so much to where when i looked at someone, i saw all of their dirt. It's like the Lord layed out their life before my eyes. It was insane. I had never felt my discernment so strong before in my life. Even some the people on the team. I felt so spiritually alert that i felt in-tune with everything that was going on. It was insane.

But that morning i was reading in Psalm 139. And the verses 5-10 really stuck out to me and were encouraging to me. Those verses say, "You go before me and follow me. You have placed your hand of blessing upon my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain! I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If i go up to the Heavens, you are there; if i go down tot he grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if i dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." And all day Tuesday i was feeling useless. I felt like i wasn't being used by God at all. That i was just another teenager there that hardly did anything--cause it really seemed like there were some youth groups that had ALOT of those teenagers that were acting like teenagers, if ya know what i mean??. So i woke up Wednesday not wanting to do any of the ministries cause i had convinced myself that i wasn't really doing anything. But then when i read this it really encouraged me. That when it said 'You have placed your hand of blessing upon my head' it helped me realize that whenever i talk to someone my words aren't just going in one ear and out the other, but He is blessing my words and my actions. That the things that we do as a team we aren't going to be in vain, we are planting the seed while the Dream Center reaps the fruit. Also when it talked about the Lord has gone before me and will follow me, it showed me how He has already destined people for me to talk to. People for me to minister to. Then when it said 'even there your hand will guide me,' I was really comforted by that cause i don't have to worry about who to talk to or what to say. Cause He is guiding me, no matter where I am, He has gone before and behind! But Wednesday really showed how that was true.
In the vans on the way to the Cannon a few of us just felt like that night was going to be incredibly blessed. That God was wanting to go above and beyond all our expectations. So we started praying, all of us, in the van. We were praying for that night so much in the van! You name it, we prayed for it. It was amazing! I could feel His presence right there with us in the van. Then there were people that were sharing words of encouragement and wisdom and anything God had given them. It was just amazing! But when we got to the parking garage i felt like Paradigm needed to all get together and pray for our Spiritual gifts to be activated within us. Cause it's not something that we can turn on and off like a light switch, it's something that we need to always be walking in, all the time. So we got together in a huge circle and warred for it. After that prayer was when i felt my discernment "kicking in"-- for lack of a better phrase :P so we grabbed all of the pizza, sodas, and the huge cross and were headed down to the cannon. Side note: which is actually a huge cannon on the corner of a lil park area next to the Santa Monica pier. Once we got there we had split up into our groups with protectors. Anthony actually pulled me into his group cause he knew that i didn't feel very safe at all with my protector before. So my group was Anthony, Kelli, Kirsten, and myself. And when we got to the cannon Kirsten and Kelli were talking to a guy, so that left me and Anthony standing there awkwardly watching their conversation. Then i saw this guy with a black shirt and a red backpack. Automatically i knew that we had to talk to him. So i told Anthony, then we went over there to talk. And his name was David. But when we were talking to him you could tell that he had fear, lots of it! He was afraid of living on the streets, and afraid of where he might end up. When we were talking to him we found out that he had just gotten out of jail one week ago, and that he had only been living on the streets for four days. His brother and sister-in-law had kicked him out of their house cause they all got in a huge fight. He kept on mentioning how we wanted out of the streets. That opened the door for us to tell him about the men's discipleship program at the Dream Center. But then we told him it was full, but we can hook him up somehow in the dream center, we'll just go talk to the leader guy for him. Then we asked if we could pray for him, and he said yes. So Anthony prayed for him. Then we had to go cause the service was starting. But he had told us a little earlier that he was hoping to get a coat cause it was really cold on the beach where he was sleeping. So we both had to remember to try and find him one later on. Then the service started with some testimonies-- Caleb/dontay and Bridgette did an amazing job on that! So the service went on and we talked to a few more people. Then we/me and Anthony went to go try and find David a coat or something. And then when the dream center people saw us messing with the clothes they stuck us with the job of sorting everything and folding everything. So that was kind of annoying, but i was happy to do it at the same time. Then we found a coat for him, but he walked up to us to say hi again and tell us that someone already gave him a coat. It was really cool to see that he had come up to talk to us again. I don't know why, but it was cool. So when we talked to him we said that the leader said that the men's discipleship program was full, but they always had people in and out every three or so days. Then we said "so, just stick around for a while and you can talk to the leader that we talked to." Then we had to finished with the clothes. And it took a little while, then we had to pack it up again. But after that since we were done with that and things were starting to wrap up Anthony went to get David so he could talk to the leader and get information about how to contact the dream center about the opening in the next three days. But a few minutes after Anthony left to get David he came back and told me he couldn't find him! So We left Kelli and Kirsten with PNick and we went up and down the park. But we couldn't find him anywhere! It was so discouraging! I felt like that was it, it was over. But God convicted me for thinking that. Cause just because we couldn't find him doesn't deny the work that we had already done. We had already encouraged him, talked with him, and even prayed for him. So it was wrong of me for thinking that it was useless cause we couldn't find him. So as we were walking back i still felt like he was meant to show up again, he was mean to go to the dream center. I just had such a peace about it that i knew without doubt that he was the one that i was supposed to talk to. But that didn't help the fact that we couldn't find him to let him talk to the leader and get information on the dream center. It was still upsetting. But i wasn't going to give up. When we got back to the cannon we looked all around there when everyone was and we looked alot! But he still didn't show up. So Anthony said that he was gonna look up towards the street, so i stayed back with the group. And i had enough of David not showing up, so i just prayed. I was like, 'God, that's it. I know he's meant for this. I know he's the one that i was supposed to talk to. He was the divine appointment! He needs to show up right now!' And right as i said that i hear Anthony yell my name and i see him over by the corner of the street walking back with David, with his new coat and his red backpack. So we took David over to the leader and they talked for a while. Then in the end David got a new coat, a paper with Dream Center contact information, and five dollars for a pay phone and bus fare.
It was amazing! I felt such a peace about everything that had happened to where i could never doubt the importance of myself or anyone else. Cause God can, and WILL, use anyone! :)
And that's my David story....
The~End

Pray... Please...

Email I got from the missionaries i worked with the past two times i went to Kenya...

This is grace--->

We’re asking prayers for Langata GCC’s Grace Nduta, who has been taken by ambulance to Gertrude’s Garden Children’s Hospital. Dr. Komen, and David and I, became alarmed this morning when she woke with facial edema, feeling very ill. Enroute to hospital she began to vomit and have difficulty breathing. Initial comments from hospital medical personnel receiving her at Gertrude’s include swollen liver, respiratory difficulties and – perhaps – kidney failure… She is on a drip, oxygen and undergoing a battery of tests.
Until this morning, I had last seen Grace on the GCC playground late Thursday afternoon. Housemum Juliet reports Grace felt fine from then, and all through Friday, but became a little dull just before bedtime last night. Pray for the housemums, the other GCC Building A children, and for David and me. We’ve been here before and, to date and more often than not, the HIV/AIDS child in question is nearing the end of his/her earthly life when the respiratory and kidney problems become acute. However, we also know that God Is Able! - and we now place the outcome in His hands.
As we have prayed for and spoken of Grace today, David continues to recall how happy she has been these last several months. If you have been a member of a ministry team visiting CMIA here in Kenya from March this year, you have been largely responsible for Grace’s joy of late. Thank you all for the very special ministry you brought to ALL our Grace Children’s Centre child-residents in 2009. Unforgettable times for each and every one. A very special season for little Grace…
Thank you for keeping Grace - and all of us here - before the Lord in the hours to come. We will be back in touch with additional news of her condition as we have it…
In His Service In Africa…
Jennifer, and for David

[The missionaries in Kenya i worked with]

My LA Summary....(:

Me and Ashley at the observitory thing :D


This is going to be super hard for me to write out. But I'm going to try my hardest.



So here it goes...



Over all I've learned to never underestimate. Never underestimate your peers, your leaders, and your own ability and strength. This trip was the most challenging for me, more challenging for me than Kenya was. Cause in Kenya, yes you have to get used to the crap food, and the jetlag. But this trip to LA was more challenging simply because i had to be bold and outgoing. For anyone who really knows me, you'd know that those things aren't my strengths. I can be outgoing when i'm around people that i know, and am not afraid to make a fool of myself around. But to just randomly walk up to a homeless person and strike up a conversation with them was hard. When you're going to walk up to them all of these questions pop up into your head, they distract you. Like, What are you going to say? What if they don't speak english? What if they're closed off and ignore you? These questions were always in my mind, but i learned that they're hindering me. I learned that if i do go up and talk to them, and pray for them, then I'll actually make a difference. That's why i'm being distracted. Why would the devil waste his time messing with someone's mind if they weren't going to make a difference. One thing that Aaron Money always told me when i was in 7th grade was that 'If i'm not being attacked by the devil, then i'm not attacking him. And if i'm not attacking him, then there's a problem.' So when God showed me that the only thing keeping me from doing His will on that trip, and talking to people that He's destined for me to talk to, is doubt. And the reason i have this doubt is because I'm going to make a difference and be used by God. So it was an eye opener and an encouragement all in one.


While i was on this trip i also got the most compassion i ever thought possible. I didn't even know i could feel this MUCH compassion. I was always heart sick for people. Even driving in the van, my eyes would randomly start to water, just because i really felt God's heart for these people. One time when we were driving home from something- I think we were driving home from the burger place- I saw this little girl and her dad walking down the street. He was dressed casually, but the thing that caught my attention was that she was dressed in spandex leggings, a tight shirt, big earrings, make up!, and sandals with a heel on them. Immediately i thought 'Whoa, she's way too young to be wearing that! Why didn't her dad make her change?' Then God gave me a vision. In that vision it was the same girl walking down the same street. She was with an older man, but not her dad. She was wearing the same kind of clothes too. She had spandex with a tight shirt, big earrings, lots of make up, and heels. She looked like a prostitute. She was a prostitute. Her dad was never there for her, he never was a daddy to her. So she did what she wanted. She was never told right from wrong. Her father was never a father. She never got a dad's love. So she started to look for it in other things. In other men. That's why she ended up the way she did- a prostitute. She gives her love to others cause her dad never gave his love to her. Then i felt like my heart had broken into millions of pieces. I wanted to scoop that little girl that i saw walking down the sidewalk up into my arms and give her a hure hug! But i couldn't. I could feel in my spirit sorrow and pain. I felt what God felt. God kept on telling me that it's because her earthly dad never loved her the way he was supposed to is the reason she won't allow her Heavenly father's love into her life. He desires to scoop her up into His arms and give her a huge hug. But He can't either.


It hurt... I cried when i was sitting there in the van... I couldn't even imagine, then when God showed me, i didn't want to imagine it again. It hurt too bad... But that's how He feels about everyone...
There's a lot more. But I'll post more later :)

Awesome quote i found earlier...

People are like stained glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out.
But when the darkness sets in,
Their true beauty is only shown if there is a light inside.

Picture.. (:

This is one of my favorite pictures from the Kenya trip.. I had no idea it was being taken too. Ah sweet candid shots! I can take some candid shots, unlike someone else on the team... You know who you are... LONDON!! :D

I just wanted to post it, cause i haven't been able to share it with anyone yet. So here it is, Enjoy! :)

Idk what to title this.. but i think it's worth reading anyways :)

These are just some things that I've read lately and would like to share, but not do a complete post on each of them.....

I once read a book about a man named Viktor Frankl. Viktor was a Jew in a Nazi concentration camp in World War II. He lived in a flea infested and diseased area. He was constantly badgered, harassed, beaten, and made to carry burdens. Viktor said that in this Nazi concentration camp, he could tell when a person was getting ready to give up and die. He could look into the eyes of those around him and see when their attitudes began to change. He could also see it in their posture as they walked, when hopelessness had taken over their life. Although physically they could have survived and lived longer, mentally they had broken down. Viktor said that he could tell when they were ready to lay down, stop eating, give up and die. He said he could see it in their attitude. Viktor Frankl determined that there was one thing the Nazis could not control in his life; they could not control his attitude. He said, "The last of all human freedoms is the ability to choose one's own attitude regardless of circumstances."



We can believe that something will happen. We can even say that it will happen. But until we command it to happen, nothing will change. For faith is voice activated.



I said, "Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that He may shower righteousness upon you." ~Hosea 10:12



"My child listen to what i say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and consentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver, seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God." ~Proverbs 2:1-5

Oh Prophecies :/

Confusion has been a big part of my life lately!

This is how it happened: This past week my parents have been telling me all these prophecies that were spoken over me between the time when my mom was pregnant with me, to the time i was about 5 years old. But let me tell you this first- When i was at YFN when i was 12 God told me so clearly that I am called to be a missionary to Africa. So that's been my focus for the past 3ish years now. But this week my parents have randomly decided to tell me these prophecies and dreams saying that I am supposed to be a speaker, in front of hundreds of thousand of people.... I can't see myself being a speaker!!.... Like i am supposed to be the next Jeanne Mayo, but bigger! Like a Joyce Meyers. So i've gotten used to the thought of me being a speaker. But what about the missionary part?? In my mind i keep saying that I must have heard God wrong. I was only twelve, so it could've easily been a mistake. But It's just one of those things to where i have to rely on God so much more than I'm comfortable with.

Then on top of that. At dinner the other night my mom told me that she has been feeling like I am going to be called away from Paradigm! I can't even imagine not being at Paradigm!! I don't even want to be away from Paradigm. She believes that It'll happen within the next few weeks. And for those of you reading this- Yall are the only ones who know, so don't tell anyone, please and thank you :).- This is more shocking than the speaker thing!!

This is what my past week has been like. Change after change after change.

I shared the prophecies with the prayer team, and Jenna gave me some great advice. She told me that i should go into the Bible and see what all these different people had to go through to get where they were. To be encouraged my their stories, and to realize that they went through a time when they were in a place of waiting for things to come to pass in their own lives. Cause i think back to the time when i spoke in Kenya, both at the boy's home and the youth conference, and i want to speak. I want to get up in front of people and be the vessel for God to use. I want to be God's instrument in telling people what God is trying to tell them. So i desire so much to be a speaker now, but i can't be a speaker now. It's hard to understand why i was told all of these prophecies when i can't do anything about it. I can't speak in front of hundreads of thousands of people right now. But i realize that I was told this now so that I can prepare for it. During the prayer meeting Jordan Wood also was very encouraging. So between him and Jenna im good now :P And i took jenna's advice and went to the Bible to find some stories of different people who became something amazing but had to go through the time of preparation. So i felt like i should open the Bible up to Acts 6. Which just so happens to be about Stephen! Stephen was one of the 7 guys that the disciples chose to run a food program so they could get the ministry and teaching done. They were too occupied with the food program so the ministry began to fall a little. Therefore they got 7 well respected guys who would run it. Stephan was one of them. The Bible said that Stephen was a man full of God's faith, and Holy Spirit. It also says that he was a man full of God's grace and power. Even though he was working in a feeding program, which is a less than glorious job :P, He still performed miracles and signs in front of the people there. And just because i'm not the speaker that i am called to be, and just because i don't have the glorious job- i'm just a student leader- doesn't mean that i can't be used by God where i am. Right before Stephen got stoned to death He looked up and saw the glory of God and saw Jesus sitting at His right hand. No one else ever got to see that, not even Moses or Abraham- who are pretty hardcore people. So God has been showing me how i've been told those prophecies so i can have something to look forward to and to work to achieve.
And that's exactly what I'll do :)

A Word.

God gave me a word for the L.A. team this past week. So in the meeting I'm going to share it. But it was basically that we're not giving God what He deserves. Imagine one of your friends asking you for 200$, and you give it to them, but the deal was that they had to pay it all back, or atleast give back 10% of the money you gave them. Then months, even years go by. You're still waiting for your 200 dollars back, but would be so pleased with just the 10 percent. It never comes though. You never get it. Then you see your friend and they ask you for 500 dollars... You're not going to want to give it to them at all because they never even gave back the 20 dollars the first time.

What I'm saying is basically that unless we give God what he deserves, He wont give us what we don't deserve. Cause we don't deserve the money to go to L.A., but God will give it to us anyways. As long as we still tithe. Just because we are using our money for a mission trip doesn't mean that we can let the offering bucket pass by. In the bible it never said to give God ten percent, UNLESS were using it for a good purpose. I was praying and asking God why we didn't have our money cause we are all called to go on this trip. And He basically told me that we aren't getting enough because we aren't giving enough... Done&Done.

Update on Life lately! :)

This whole week I've been working up at the church for money to put towards my L.A. Dream Center mission trip. Up at the church working it's been Me, Shayna, Ashley L., Kerri and Kelli, Kirsten, A-Will, and Tiffany. It's been hard at some points, but none-the-less very fun being all together making memories.
The jobs that we've had to do have all been very random but necessary. So far we've done jobs like taking everything out of every drawer in the kitchen, then cleaning the inside surface of the drawer, putting everything where it needs to be/re-organizing it, then washing the outside of it. Then you do the exact same thing with the cabinets, and the pantry! It was a very time consuming task to get done. Then we did the exact same thing with the HotSpot. But in the drawer where they keep the ice cream scoops for milkshakes we had a discovery... 2 Dead Bugs!! One of the bugs was on top of the ice cream scoop!!! It was so disgusting!!! So when we cleaned the drawer we washed the scoops and put them in a bug-less location :P
Then we've stuffed all the bulletins, Laminated stuff for nursery and Kids on a Mission, Cut out curriculum materials, Cleaned out the upstairs storage closets, Did stuff to P.Nick and P.Tim's offices- Prank stuff, not helpful stuff :P, Re-organized the Church library and Pastor Brad's library- He has SO MANY amazing books!, cleaned the closet in the Fellowship Hall the the Deep and Royal Rangers uses. But i saved the best job for last.... We all went on "Cricket Patrol". It was so disgusting! We split into 2 teams and each team had a bucket, then we went around the whole church and had to pick up crickets- both dead and alive! So we turned it into a competition. The team with the most crickets won. My team got 130-ish crickets, and the other team cheated and went outside. But the highlight of that job was not only how funny Ashley was- Cause she hates bugs with a passion, she's also kind of scared of them, but it was that the team that went outside found a dead lil bunny!! So pastor Brad said that it counts as 1000 points! So my team didn't win, but it was still something that none of us will ever forget!
Then i went to Lillian Wiley's birthday party! It was awesome! And afterwards we went upstairs to watch So You Think You Can Dance.. It has been a pretty kick butt week..
And that's been my life lately :)

Sicklyness... :(

Earlier today my mom made me and both of my sisters go to the doctor.. ugh..
I was quite unhappy with her for that. But i got over it pretty quick, cause surely i wasn't sick. All i had was congestion, achy back and shoulders, and a headache. So i was rather confident in knowing that it was all going to be okay, i'd just get a test done and be on my way. But no, It turns out that I have the flu!! I was SOOO upset!! Cause the type of flu that i have is really contageous. So i can't come in contact with anyone for seven whole days after i started feeling sick. [which was Sunday morning]. But the big reason why i'm mad about it is cause this was going to be our first wednesday back to youth after YFN. & Everyone knows that the wednesday service following youth camp is always the best, cause everyone is still on their Jesus High from yfn. But God just showed how I shouldn't be upset that i'm sick and not going to youth, cause I should expect an amazing youth service EVERY week! Not just right after events. I also should be glad that I get the time to just sit around and chill with God while im sick- and miserable. It's not often that I get a week to just lay around, In fact, It's NEVER that i get a week to just lay around. So this week while i can't do much I'm going to not make it a week of laziness, but a week of kick butt God time. And next week when i come to youth i am going to keep my expectations high!! Cause one thing I've found out is that when i honestly expect God to move in a mighty way, He always does! God will not only meet any expectation that I have, but, He'll go above and beyond!!
So, please be praying for me and my sickly-ness. :)
Thank you.

So lately I've been listening to a lot of Phil Wickham music! Just because i love it when you can listen to a song and feel the annointing that God has placed on it. One song that has really been on my heart is the song I Will Wait for You There. It's such a powerful song!

The song says: I will wait for You there

Down on my knees where I met You

Give You all of my cares

Find a grace to hold onto now

I’m calling for You

I will wait for You there

far from the world and it’s violence

It left broken and bare

I need to hear You in the silence now

I’m calling for You

And with outstretched arms I will sing out melodies

And my beating heart Will pour out a symphony

Hallelujah’s in the morning Hallelujah’s in the night

I will wait for you as long as I have life

I will wait for You there

Down On my knees where I met you

Cause life is a war fought with tears

But You are the strength I hold onto now

I’m calling for you.

And something that I've realized through this song is that we are the ones who should wait on God. God should never have to wait on us. In this song Phil Wickham was talking about the times in his life where he desperately wanted to hear from God. So he was singing 'I will wait for you there down on my knees where i met you'. We need to have the endurance and the patience to be able to wait for God's voice speaking to us. We should never have our lives so full of stuff to where God is trying to speak to us, but He has to wait on us to listen to him. So that's just something that God has shown me this week through this song.

The~End(:

*sigh*...

So, I was going to post something about Kenya and my trip there. But, I've decided that I'd rather tell you in person. So If you would like to know about my trip then just ask me. There's WAY TOO MUCH stuff to type out. I also feel that it's more personal for me to talk to you in person about it. Plus, I'm still working on how to put everything into words. God was just too amazing on this trip, and I cannot believe that i let my dad drag me back to the states.
But i will say this: It was amazing, and I am called there- Permanently. Also Jetlag sucks like no body's business!!
Done&Done :)

Crazines...=/

Lately my life has pure chaos!
I'm not even sure where to start...
But lets start with what's going on at home. My mom had mouth surgery last Thursday. So my family has been tending to her a lot. Then me and my sisters are fighting so much! I don't know why, but all of the sudden we just can't get along very well. Since my mom has gone back to work me and my sisters are at home alone from 8:30-1:30 every weekday. That just gives them more time alone with me to get on my every last nerve. I have so much stuff to get done cause of my Kenya trip being in ONLY 2 weeks, It's very hard to study and prepare sermons and a Sunday school lesson with two girls always yelling at me. So the focus on getting stuff done in time for the Kenya trip hasn't been going very good at all. Then my parents were fighting, but luckily that has stopped now. It always bothers me so much when my parents fight. It scares me too, cause on my mom's side of the family- her and her youngest brother are the ONLY ones who have never been divorced. And it's not that i think my parents are going to get a divorce, it's just that's the only thing I've ever seen- when times get tough, run away from it. Luckily, i know that my parents will never split up. And the fighting between them has stopped! and i pray that it won't start again.
Now on to the spiritual stuff: Kenya in two weeks!! [as mentioned earlier :P] I've got 2 twenty minute sermons to get done, 1 little kids Sunday school [1hr. long, w/50+ kids.] to prepare, Evangelism stuff to get together [aka- testimony, and a couple five minute things.], THEN a devotion for the morning or night time meetings. Then there's always the packing and buying of luggage, and malaria Rx., and the shots [OUCH!], then so much more...
But that's just the Kenya stuff!! :P HaHaHaHa.
Here's the other stuff...
I'm on the prayer team, so every weekday we have a schedule of what to war for. It's a pretty long list to always keep up with. But by no means is it impossible!!. Then Lance- who is in charge of the whole pre service prayer and prayer team thing- is leaving! Yep, tomorrow is his last Wednesday ever! So the original plan was for Nate-James to take it over, But he's a nation leader at Y.F.N. so he will be gone for a big majority of the summer. Then the back up plan was Trish Key. But she works at the C.F.N.I. cafe, So whenever yfn is there she has to be there till 6pm. By this time we have now lost our team leader [lance] and both our adult leader, and intern [Nate 'n' Trish] The only people left on the team are students. Jordan W., Kelli G., And I. So we will be doing everything. I'm soooooo super stoked about it being completely student lead. But there comes a whole buttload of responsibility with that. We [Jordan Kelli and i] understand what it'll take, and we're ready for it. It's just going to be harder then normal. And personally that makes me excited!! I love a challenge!! Epically when it's a challenge at church. I always love being pushed beyond my limits.
So that's what's been going on lately. sorry it's been a lil while since I've posted.
I just haven't had anything to post about.
And this post is kind of boring anyways :P HaHaHa..
PS- please be praying for me, cause my wrist has been messing up so much lately. And i know without a shadow of a doubt that it is because of Kenya. It's amazing how much stuff has come against us. But i kind of like that it's hurting, cause that means the devil is trying to stop me from going, which means we are all going do some pretty amazing stuff over there!! :D
The~end(:

_Rebekah_Danae_

Hmmm.. {not sure what the title should be}

So, I don't really have anything specific that this post is about. Which means that it'll be random, and let's remember that random isn't a bad thing.. not a bad thing at all(:

I'll just fill you guys in on what's gone on since my last post.....

Saturday my family and I were shopping for some things for Kenya. I needed shoes since every pair of my shoes are either flats, or converse. And my dad needed some dress clothes since he's going to be preaching at the pastors conference multiple times. We started off at DSW for shoes [my dad needed shoes also]. I personally don't like tennis shoes, But for Kenya i have to have them. So one of my sisters [Krysta-the 11 yr old.] asked me if some white shoes would work. And i responded "No, cause white in Kenya doesn't mix." In my head the thought process was because everywhere you go there's dirt!, and so the white would get really dirty. But of course my other sister [Haley-she's 9.] took that completely different than how i meant it. So she starts busting out laughing!! She was laughing so hard that old people were looking at her weird!! Then she explains rather loudly to Krysta [across half of the store] that the reason white in Kenya doesn't mix is because everyone in Kenya is black!! It was the funniest thing I've experienced since i heard Hiroki's Yoshi laugh!!! The looks on every one's face that was around us were truly priceless!! Most definitely a Kodak moment :D But long story short for that adventure we did find some shoes!
Then later that evening my dad told me that I had to check all the fluids in his car- Since I've started driving he puts all of the stupid, simple, yet annoying jobs in my responsibility. Aka getting gas and checking the oil, power steering, brake, and transmission fluids.- So i went out to do it. The engine oil was a little less than a quart low, so i added some. Then all of the other fluids were fine. This seemed like a pretty normal check up for the lil car he just got. But i was mistaken, oh so mistaken. I went to start the car so it could get to operating temperature and then i would be able to check transmission fluid. Ten-ish minutes passed then i started to check it. It looked fine the first time, but you're supposed to check it 2-3 times. On my third time of checking it, it still looked good. So i was putting the long thing [can't remember the name] back in the pipe and i accidentally touched it to the edge of the battery connector. So it made this piercing, shocking, crackling, sparking sound. There were sparks everywhere!! And so the thing that started out to be about two full feet long all-of-the-sudden turned bright orange- cause it was so hot- and then just melted off and fell onto the engine [still bright orange!]. After everything had melted off the thing was maybe 5 inches!!!! It was the scariest- yet coolest- things EVER!!!

Then Sunday was a pretty legit Sunday. Except that I ate lunch with Alex Perezillll. Which just made me realize how much he has fallen. Kinda depressing, but made me more aware of what is happening to my generation. Cause most of the time I notice that people aren't at Paradigm, or that I haven't seen them on Sundays. But i never see them outside of those settings. I never see them to realize and see the change that they've made. It also made me appreciate the leadership team that we have, that are strong and here to stay, even more. Then Kenya meeting. Then small groups with Nate 'n' Trish.

Monday was crap.
Tuesday was borderline okay but leaning towards the crap category.
Wednesday was great.
And today [Thursday] My mom got her wisdom teeth cut out. Painful, yes. But the rest of today has been just sitting around at home getting her stuff that she needs- aka water and pain killers. Then here i sit, blogging it up.

I guess that's the end for now..

But please be praying for me, cause I'm not doing to great on the preparation-ing for Kenya stuff.

Thanks(:

..::From the Inside Out::..

For Kenya this year what Gavin Audagnotti is doing is he's letting each of the team members pick one song that is really close to their heart. Like, one of those songs to where when you turn it on you just feel deep in your heart that you need to worship, It speaks to you. He's doing this so that when we worship it won't be some random song that he picked, It'll bring us to that place with God. And my automatic choice was the song From the Inside Out by Hillsong United. When ever that song is on my iPod I just want to break myself down for God. I can't really explain it, But if any of y'all have ever been to Y.F.N. before you know what i mean. It's sort of like the feeling to where God consumes you so much that you don't know whether to sit, stand, jump around, be still, raise your arms, or just fall flat on your face!! You're so in love with god that you don't know really what to do. For me, that's how the song From the Inside Out is! I don't know what it is, but i love it!!
One thing that i find with music is that it can sound really amazing, But the lyrics are lacking. With that song though, it doesn't.

A thousand times i've failed, still your mercy remains. And should i stumble again, I'm caught in your grace. Your will above all else, still my purpose remains the art of loosing myself in bringing you praise. Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending your glory goes beyond all fame. And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise. From the inside out Lord my soul cries out. My heart and my soul, i give you control. Consume me from the inside out Lord. Let justice and praise become my embrace, To love you from the inside out.

I think that every person needs something that speaks such truth into their life that they can't even find a loop-hole [for lack of a better word]. This world needs more Christians who are willing to desire such an intimacy with God. More christians who are willing to loose themself in praising God with a purity that surpasses all sin and doubt.
I had no idea what i was gonna blog about, and this is what came from typing out what was on my heart. So take that cookie and eat it!! :D

Wednesday night.

Encouragement...
Encouragement can be a very mind changing thing. In the perfect timing it can give someone new perspectives on anything. Wednesday night at youth i was so encouraged by some of the greatest people ever. In the prayer team meeting if we have some time in the end then Lance will pick a random member of the team and just have everyone else pour into them, encourage them, to tell them basically how awesome they truly are. And this week we had about 8 minutes left before we had to head out into prayer, so Lance chose me to be the encouraged one for that particular meeting. So for about 8 minutes i was just being encouraged by the whole prayer team [Lance, Trish, Nathan, Jordan, and Kelli]. It's kind of funny too, cause sometimes we don't really know how much we need encouragement until we get it. So i realized how much i didn't see myself as a leader, and how much i needed to be encouraged...
Lately i had my best friend all-of-the-sudden completely ignore me. She wouldn't answer any of my phone calles, she wouldn't email me back for anything, and at church she would see me then walk the other direction, then eventually she stopped coming... I kept on asking myself what i did wrong, and if i was even a good friend. But i didnt have any sort of answer. I also kept on questioning my leadership skills. Cause if i can't even get my best friend to come to church then how could i get anyone else to come?? I didn't know what happened. I just had to deal with it, and eventually get over it.. I still call her all of the time, and i still look for her at church. Cause the worst thing that could happen is that she'll ignore the call, or not be at church- which has been happening for the past few months, so the worst is over, and i had no excuse to not reach out to her still. So i kept on trying.. And even though i'm basically over the shock [for lack of a better word] of this happening with no explination, i still had those questions in the back of my mind. No matter how hard i tried to ignore them, or silence them, they were always there. But last night in the prayer meeting I was more encouraged than i have been in literally years. Everything that the team was telling me was everything that i needed to hear! They kept on telling me that I am genuine, amazingly committed, and strong. Jordan said this verse that he said made him think of me, and that it truly described me. The verse was Psalm 16:8 "I have set the Lord always before me. Since he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." And i had absolutely no idea how much i really needed that!! They pointed out that in our youth group we always have students that leaders need to go after to get them involved or to get them to commit. But no one ever went after me to disciple me or pour itno me. I just already was a leader before i was an actual student leader.... Because of that my night was the greatest night ever!! It just made me excited to be there, and ready for the service. It lifted my spirit. I was ready to set an example in worship and everything else.
So from now on i am gonna try to encourage people as often as i can, to let them know that im grateful for them just being them, and nothing/no one else... Cause you never know what is going on that you can't see. And you never know how some simple encouragement can change their self-esteem level, and their heart.

The Day for Mothers

Today was a pretty great day!!(:
For mothers day we got my mom a card and Chocolate. [low on funds, so that was the extent of the presents] We didn't do a mothers day dinner yet cause we never do celebration stuff actually on the day of. We wait till the day after, or we'll do it the day before. Cause everywhere is usually too crowded and too busy to make it hard to enjoy. So we are most likely going to go to macaroni grill tomorrow night for a happy belated mothers day dinner :P haha..
So we went to taco casa for lunch. I'm not too big of a fan of that place, but.. I survived. Then another thing that she wanted most for mothers day was an un-interrupted nap. For however long she wanted, and at any moment that she wanted it. So everyone went home and let her take a nap. :P Then we rented a movie grabbed some dinner and came home.. We never got around to watching the movie though. Cause right when we got home we all gather around the phone and called all the grandmas and great-grandmas, The place we happened to gather was in the back yard cause my sisters were jumping on the trampoline. The phone calls were kind of awkward at some points cause everyone was talking over eachother since it was on speaker phone. But none the less still good to talk to all the old relatives. Right after that i saw a tennis ball in the yard. So i grabbed it and my dad wanted to see how far i could throw it. I was in the very back corner of our yard and i threw it as hard as i could, the ball went completely across the yard, over the fence, down the driveway, and hit my mom's car!! We were all impressed that i could throw it that far, but my mom was mad that it hit her car :P haha.. I ran to get the ball and it was stuck right in between where the hood meets the windsheild and windsheild wipers. Then when i had got it out and was back in the yard me and my dad were throwing it around, so my sister got inbetween us and tryed to get it. Also known as monkey in the middle.. But this was a complete knock down drag out game of monkey in the middle! We played for nearly an hour! And i left the game with a huge black bruise on my thigh, A welt on the top of my foot, and bruises all on my arms!! It was the greatest family bonding we've had in a while!! (:
And that's all for today, just bruises and naps and crappy taco casa :P

Thursday.. : )

Today was a pretty darn good day! For the longest time we've [me and the family] have been praying for my dad a car. The requirements were: A/C, Good m.p.g., Good cd player, and last but not least It couldn't be any color or shade of brown. {[Cause literally every car that we've owned has been the color of dirt.]} But my dad's car now is this little '93 Saturn. Tan [which is a no-no]. 30-33 mpg. No A/C. And it has 189-ish thousand miles on it. My dads work is off of highway 635 and midway- Basically over by the galleria. So therefore A/C and good gas mileage are a must!! Then today God answered our prayers!!! :D A guy that we know called us up and basically asked us if we were by anychance looking for a car to buy. So it turns out that this guy is selling a 2000 toyota corolla!! It's blue, Gets 30-33 mpg, And barely has 115 thousand miles on it. W/air conditioning!! which a 2000 isn't new, but he is only selling it for three thousand dollars!! and earlier this week we got our tax-return check. So there's exactly 3000$ in my dad's car fund. Whoa, God is awesome!! So we took it for a test drive and checked it out alot, and we're getting it tomorrow!!!!! And i'm pretty sure that this was most definately an answered prayer!! :D The~End

Luke 17:6

So earlier i was praying and reading my Bible, and God took me to Luke 17:6. And that is something that it seems like every regular church go-er has heard over and over again. But this time God showed it to me in a different yet interesting way.
Luke 17:6 "The Lord answered 'If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, then you could say to this mulberry tree 'May you be uprooted and thrown into the sea,' and it will obey you!"

But instead of looking at it as it's always been told- Faith is the key! [which it still is] Just look at it this way... Why did God pick a tree in this example? Well it's because a tree has roots! You cant just push a tree over and it'll slide over out of your way. There are roots involved that are deeper than we can see, and stronger than the tree itself. Whenever we have a problem that we don't want to deal with it becomes the seed. When we try to ignore it we're just putting dirt and soil on top of that seed. And when we try to say that we don't have any problems then we are merely watering that seed that is now in the perfect growing habitat that we created for it. For me God showed me this for the Paradigm students that have fallen away or chosen the wrong paths, the roots became too much to deal with alone. And that's what we all are here for. We are here to help eachother with the small seed problems before they become roots.

Another thing that i was shown was how in the end it said "and it would obey you!" key word being obey. Why did God say obey you instead of "and it will move."? Well when something obeys you that means that it's submitting to your authority. When you obey your parents it's because they are your authority. It's the same thing with the tree, We have authority over it! But like it said in the beginning- "if you had faith." Faith is still the key, and without faith we don't have the strength or authority to uproot that tree.

amazing...

Watch this quick you tube video.. Greatest thing ever!! :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar_k8JjVWQA

<- This picture was in Kenya last year. At the end right before we said goodbye to the kids at the grace HIV/aids children's home, we all circled up, held hands, and prayed together. It was easily one of my favorite parts of the trips. And yet the worst part, cause we were leaving.

That trip has changed my life. Even now as the return to Kenya is coming soon [June7Th] I still remember how much those little kids touched my life, and how much it hurt to leave. But I'm pretty sure that leaving will always be the hardest part. No matter where i go. Or how long i stay. Or who i am with. It will always bring me to tears to look back in the van and watch the orphanage get smaller and smaller as we drive away. Yet leaving in and of itself is a blessing in disguise. Cause if I had never left then i wouldn't be able to return. All of the excitement that i have right now wouldn't be here if i had never left. You can't return if you're never gone. So i had to accept those tear as a gift. Cause now I am over-joyed with the anticipation to say 'hi' to those kids again.

Just for Kirsten.

So in one of the comments that Kirsten left me she was telling me that i spelled something wrong.. So this is everything wrong that ya'll should know before going on in reading my blog.

1. I will prolly spell a buttload of words wrong.
2. I suck at grammar, in fact- I always got alot of sucky grades in school at grammar.
3. Sometimes i make up my own words as i go along. They just come to me, so i go with it.
4. & i can be bad at getting off topic.
So you should be expecting a lot of the above within this blog of mine( :

Oh sweet petition.

So, something that me and a few other sl's {student leaders} have been joking around about for a while is getting together a petition to give to Pastor Tim. The reasoning behind this petition is because we always come into the sl meeting with our stomachs growling cause the donuts don't last beyond second service, and there is always food in upgrade- just never in sl meetings. So today i decided that i was actually going to make it!! Yep, I made that petition!! In fact earlier I spent an hour on excel with my dad [He's an engineer/nerd, so he uses it all the time]. Cause apparently i'm just that bad at it! :P So for those of you lakeshore-ers come sign this petition of mine and support a very worthy cause, the cause of the neglected and starved Paradox student leadership team.

Anticipation..

I am so excited for my return to Kenya! To where everything i say is about Kenya or the journey there and/or back. I am going to miss last years team, but this year will most definitely be amazing too! It seems like we have had so many people drop out- due to busy schedules, prior commitments, or money- and that this year will be kind of boring. But that's just the way it seems at first thought. I however believe that it will be quite a bit smaller but we're going to be just as effective. We will be small in number, but think of the team as being more consentrated not divided. Take for example consentrated juices. There is less of the amount but what there IS is stronger. And i truly believe that that's what this year is going to be. I am just completely excited, anticipating amazing-ness, stoked, in awe, and looking forward to the Kenya '09 trip.

God. Is. Awesome.

Ok, so. I don't really know where to begin with this post, cause I'm really hyper and got approximately zero and a half hours of sleep last night.
But due to my extreme jittery hyperness there will prolly be a lot of typos, just to let you know.
I'll just start with what God did for me... Last night i went over to the holland's house for pizza [me and my dad usually go over every thursday] and Anna was on her handy dandy laptop figuring out all the money and stuff from the 'stock calling' fundraiser we've been doing. But before that my parents had decided that only one of my sisters should go, Cause unless by someone hands us a 9000$ check we will all be stressing out too much. So the agreement was that we will just take it one trip payment at a time and if God wants ALL of us to go then he will give us the money while giving us a peace about finances [or lack there of:P]. Then neither of my sisters wanted to go w/o the other one. [side note: AHH I JUST RAN OUTTA COFFEE!!, okay.. i'm back now.] So then it was just down to me and my padre like last year. And wednesday soemone gave us a check for 3000$ [Praise God!! :O] So that completely paid off my dads trip just from that one check. And anna figured out the stock calling money, and we got about 1000$ more than we expected!!!! So all of the sudden all the money we needed to pay off my trip was 64 dollars. I mean, What the heck just happened!!!!?? We went from needing 2000 dollars to just 64 dollars. We took the 64$ out of my dads car fund :P It wasnt that big of a deal at all for it to be taken out of that... Here's the funny part though, The whole time my parents were doing all of this figuring out money and talking with anna and what not, I had no idea what they were doing. So i took a bite of pizza and they said "so, danae we are going to kenya. Were also all paid off.." I was just amazed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And ever since that I have been so jittery and hyper. It also doesnt help that i had anna holland coffee at 930 last night too.
So all of that is the reasoning for the insane lack of sleep!! :D I'm just too excited about Kenya and not having to worry about money anymore!! Between the anna holland coffee and no stress anymore, I just feel like i'm walking on air!! And usually anyone can tell how i'm feeling by what my current on-the-go playlist is. And right not its, i saw the light by david crowder band. Foreverandever etc.. by david crowder band. Beside you now by the fold. Undignified by david crowder band. Hey by leeland [all time favorite song]. Jesus is alright by dc talk. Looking for you by kirk franklin. No parking on the dance floor by midnight star. Canned heat [idk the artist:P]. and last but not least is Luv is a verb by dc talk. Whooooooooooooo I am too hyper!!!!!!!!!!
But in the end... God provided when i knew he would. Thanks to Him i am going to Kenya!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........The~end :D :O :P :)

Problems...

Problems...
Doesn't it seem like whenever things are going great you just know that something bad is gonna happen. It's like things are too good to be true sometimes. Well, that's how my kenya trip has been going. Everything has been great, i haven't had to worry about money cause i had this unshakable faith that God was gonna pull through. And he will. It's just that my "un-shakeable" faith has been hit, over and over again. The stronger I am the harder it is. The stronger I am the more of a threat I am to the devil. And the devil realizes that we have authority over him and his works. So he will do anything to break us down, and to blindfold our eyes from our authority, and power, and even The amazing God that we have on our side. But with the faith that i had i wasn't going to let anything in my way! Nothing was going to stop me from returning to Kenya! But i have this MAJOR money deadline coming up, I MUST have 2,400$ by this wednesday. But another thing is; I have to have it, but times four. Cause my dad and two sisters are coming along. So for those of you who have either failed math or are failing that's 9,600$!!! in less than a week!!! Now.. i know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." but it doesnt seem like i can, it doesnt seem like God will. So in the midst of all this panic, anxiousness, fear, and so much more please be praying fro me and my family as we take another journey to Kenya, Africa.

A Calling!

Since i've been 11 years old i've known that i am called to be a missionary!
It started at a youth camp [youth for the nations] my first year in paradigm, my my youth group... let me re-phrase that... my AMAZING youth group.
And there was this Great speaker- one of my favorite speakers- Adam mcCain. He was speaking about knowing your purpose in this life, and how God has created us for a different purpose to all work together in the Body of Christ. I have always had a heart to reach others, and a deep compassion for sharing the Love that God has for us with others. but i had no idea that god would call me to be a missionary!! and later that night Adam McCain had an alter call for all of us who didn't know our purpose in life, aka- our calling. So of course i went up and got prayed over by SO many people. Then went back to my seat.. dissapointed.. and let down... God didn't tell me ANYTHING or the people that prayed over me anything at all! Did this mean I didn't have a calling? was i called to be a nobody? I was only eleven so i didn't have a firm grasp on what God could do, and how truly powerful He is. {And no one REALLY knows the extent of His power, It's just trusting Him and having the faith that He DOES have the power.} The the rest of the night went by... it came... and went. Feeling useless i went to the dorm and went to sleep as soon as i could. Then at about 3 am in the morning God woke me up and told me to start writing! it was too dark to see anything, and i couldn't turn on the light cause it would wake everybody else up. So i just obeyed. I got up, and stumbled around the room for my notebook. I seriously probably kicked every piece of furniture there was in that room! Then kicked it again to get back to my bed! I sat down and started writing, I had no idea what i was writing! But i just wrote. Then God told me to get back to sleep and he'll reveal the rest of it in devotions later that morning...

And He did!! I basically scarfed down breakfast, {Which actually is normal, cause the faster you eat the food the less you taste it! and for those of you cfni-ers and yfn-ers ya'll know its much more bearable that way! so less taste is a good thing when it comes to c.f.n.i. cafeteria food. hahaha ;P.... so true, so true.} Then i practically ran over to when devotions were gonna be... and i looked at my phone and it was 40 minutes EARLY!!! ugh, sitting on the porch, bored, stomache sick from food, and slightly anxious. It was the longest 40 minutes of my life! But it finally passed and devotions started( : The devotional message was waaaay different then what God had in store for me, It was something about Love and Grace. Then as always we split up to have a quiet time w/God for the last 20 minutes of Devotions. That was when God really showed me all of my calling. I was called to be a missionary, He didn't tell me any specific place, but I really feel called to Africa. That is where my Heart is. From that morning on my heart was burning with a compassion for the lost and lonely people!! Then a missions trip to Peru came up. It wasnt Africa, But i wanted and needed to go bad! I went to go get an application, but they said i couldn't, I wasnt old enough.... That broke me. I didnt know what to say, what to do. If i had a passion this strong and burning so much then why couldn't i go on a trip to Peru?? It didn't make any sense to me... at the time. I realized that just because i wanted to go didn't mean that God was leading me to go. But a whole year and a half weny by... no missions trip for me... Then i felt strongly- more strong than this compassion had ever been- that I was supposed to go to Kenya. Why kenya? I had no idea why, But when God places that fire within you that's all the reason you need. It's just something that after you get, you can't get rid of it!!.. like milaria.. But GOOD:P lol. [since milaria is a bad sickness that stays w/you forever once you get it] So I went on with life and then I shared how i felt for Kenya with my old prototype group and the Leader [mrs.Liz] She said that there was gonna be a mission trip to kenya this coming summer, but they cancelled it!! I got my hopes up soo much, then they crumbled to the ground. A couple months later it was opened up!! So i went up SOOO EXCITED to the "Kenya missions trip" table and i read the application. It was for ages 15 and up!! I mean, What the heck is going on God!!!??? [i was 14, and its not that i was gonna turn 15 in a couple months or anything.. i had JUST turned 14, literally 2 weeks earlier] Major dissapointment, but oh no! i wasn't gonna let this stop me at all!! i was determined!! I was gonna go to Kenya no matter what it took!!.. So i singed up anyways :P hahaha. Then came the first meeting.. The team leaders were talking about all of the violence that was going on in kenya at the time.- We all probably remember the wars that were going on due to Political stuff, and people being upset [upset is a major understatment]- And that everyother church is backing out from going to Kenya! It sounded like a major problem. EVERYONE was backing out... But we weren't. The leaders of the trip had felt like since everyone else was backing out that its of even more importance we remain faithful to Gods call and proceed to Kenya.. So we did. And June 8th came around It was simply the greatest day of my life!! the pre-trip jitters, we had to sit through a service together before we left.. I was bouncing around in my seat the whole time!!! Anxiousness overwhelmed all of us. We couldn't sit still. We couldn't be quiet, WE WERE GOING TO KENYA!!....and long story short, Kenya was the greatest thing ever!!..... I came back forever changed by this trip...

So now im going again this summer, the Kenya '09 trip. But my dad and both my sisters are coming [my dad went last year too]. So that's 3000$ times 4! I know what youre thinking... Whoa, that's a lotta money. But one thing that my Youth Pastor always says is "If it's God's will it's God's bill" Basically If God wants you to go he'll make the way. He will provide. He will prepare. And He will see it through. Done&Done. :P haha. But the calling is still here, within. One thing that one of my friends [joshpaul] has taught me is that your calling starts once you recieve it, not once it's "fulfilled" or almost fulfilled. There's no end to your calling. There's not just one point in time to where you can say "Okay, now i'm done. Now im finished and my calling is fulfilled." cause you will never be finished, and God will never be finished using you to further His kingdom. And i believe that that's something every christian has to come to realize at one point or another. Cause like- in my case- If i were ONLY called to Africa then why wasn't i born there?. We are all called to be missionaries! We are all called to be fishers of men. And it doesn't start once you're half way around the world [or where ever you feel lead] It starts exactly where you are, At this moment, Right now.