Oh Prophecies :/

Confusion has been a big part of my life lately!

This is how it happened: This past week my parents have been telling me all these prophecies that were spoken over me between the time when my mom was pregnant with me, to the time i was about 5 years old. But let me tell you this first- When i was at YFN when i was 12 God told me so clearly that I am called to be a missionary to Africa. So that's been my focus for the past 3ish years now. But this week my parents have randomly decided to tell me these prophecies and dreams saying that I am supposed to be a speaker, in front of hundreds of thousand of people.... I can't see myself being a speaker!!.... Like i am supposed to be the next Jeanne Mayo, but bigger! Like a Joyce Meyers. So i've gotten used to the thought of me being a speaker. But what about the missionary part?? In my mind i keep saying that I must have heard God wrong. I was only twelve, so it could've easily been a mistake. But It's just one of those things to where i have to rely on God so much more than I'm comfortable with.

Then on top of that. At dinner the other night my mom told me that she has been feeling like I am going to be called away from Paradigm! I can't even imagine not being at Paradigm!! I don't even want to be away from Paradigm. She believes that It'll happen within the next few weeks. And for those of you reading this- Yall are the only ones who know, so don't tell anyone, please and thank you :).- This is more shocking than the speaker thing!!

This is what my past week has been like. Change after change after change.

I shared the prophecies with the prayer team, and Jenna gave me some great advice. She told me that i should go into the Bible and see what all these different people had to go through to get where they were. To be encouraged my their stories, and to realize that they went through a time when they were in a place of waiting for things to come to pass in their own lives. Cause i think back to the time when i spoke in Kenya, both at the boy's home and the youth conference, and i want to speak. I want to get up in front of people and be the vessel for God to use. I want to be God's instrument in telling people what God is trying to tell them. So i desire so much to be a speaker now, but i can't be a speaker now. It's hard to understand why i was told all of these prophecies when i can't do anything about it. I can't speak in front of hundreads of thousands of people right now. But i realize that I was told this now so that I can prepare for it. During the prayer meeting Jordan Wood also was very encouraging. So between him and Jenna im good now :P And i took jenna's advice and went to the Bible to find some stories of different people who became something amazing but had to go through the time of preparation. So i felt like i should open the Bible up to Acts 6. Which just so happens to be about Stephen! Stephen was one of the 7 guys that the disciples chose to run a food program so they could get the ministry and teaching done. They were too occupied with the food program so the ministry began to fall a little. Therefore they got 7 well respected guys who would run it. Stephan was one of them. The Bible said that Stephen was a man full of God's faith, and Holy Spirit. It also says that he was a man full of God's grace and power. Even though he was working in a feeding program, which is a less than glorious job :P, He still performed miracles and signs in front of the people there. And just because i'm not the speaker that i am called to be, and just because i don't have the glorious job- i'm just a student leader- doesn't mean that i can't be used by God where i am. Right before Stephen got stoned to death He looked up and saw the glory of God and saw Jesus sitting at His right hand. No one else ever got to see that, not even Moses or Abraham- who are pretty hardcore people. So God has been showing me how i've been told those prophecies so i can have something to look forward to and to work to achieve.
And that's exactly what I'll do :)