L-I-F-E

I never realized how long it had been since I've written in here last, but I noticed it had been too long.
Here's my life: I still am dealing with the Insurance Company from the car wreck I was in this past February. My back is completely healed, only by the power of lots of prayer and seeking God for my healing. I'm a senior this year- it's a crazy stressful time right now, considering the fact that all my classes give SO much homework, my English teacher is like a Nazi she's so strict. I couldn't go to Kenya, Africa this year because of my back and other reasons. Emotionally, I have been stressed out for so long now. Life seems to get the better of me, and I am still trying to figure out how to balance responsibilities with school and church with leadership responsibilities. It's very overwhelming... Then there's another situation that isn't going well at all. I can't say what it is, but I will tell you that it does hurt... Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, it'll always hurt you? No matter how much you tell yourself it doesn't matter, or that it's all 'part of the plan', you still feel pain? Well, that's the way I have felt for a long time now. I'm going through a season in my life where I'm slowly losing people i care about. They're slowly leaving me, slowly backing out on me. Even the person that I always cared for and trusted the most. Yep, they're leaving me too. I'm not sure why this us happening, but it's making me learn to not rely on people, and to only rely on God.. I always knew that some people would let me down, it's just shocking to see who those people are. I never expected the ones to let me down to be them.
One of my friends was hit by a drunk driver Saturday night. She has a broken pelvis, fractured in front and back, and they thought she had some internal bleeding too. Her sister has a broken leg. Her friend was ejected from the car, and now has tons of stitches and scrapes and bruises. The rest of the family is just banged up a little. The drunk driver ran a red light and t-boned my friend's car going 90 miles-per-hour.. But good new!: She got released from the hospital yesterday!

I don't know where i was planning on going with this blog entry. But here it ends.
Bye.
-Danae.

Where i Long to Be.....

Kibara  Slum- The largest slum in all of Africa.

Inside the Slum. Feeding the orphans the only meal they're capable of getting a day.

Greg! An orphan in the Grace Children's Center in Nairobi -->

Almost 3 years old now :)

All of the younger boys in the Nakuru Boy's Home dancing for us! :)

A sweet little girl in the Kibara slum. She wouldn't talk at all, but she was precious.

The sunset out on the Mara after a safari.

"Religion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." ~James 1:27

Mambo sawi sawi! :D (meaning: everything is going to be alright, in Swahili)

Buena Sifiwe (Praise the Lord!, in Swahili)

~Danae

I can't really think of a title for this post.. :)

It's been a while since i have posted anything on here. I realize that i have had nothing to write about. Nothing in my life has changed, since the car wreck. I have been feeling very frustrated lately. I'm just fed up with the way my life is right now. The weather has been amazing this whole week, and it is spring break! But i've spent three out of the five days of spring break at the doctor, getting my back checked on, and haveing to do Physical therapy every time i am there too. But when i do have the "free time" I can't do anything with it. My list of rules that the doctor gave me for my back is literally like ten times longer than the list of things i can do! I'm allowed to walk, and i'm somewhat allowed to bend and pick stuff up from the floor, and i am not allowed to pick anything up that is heavier than 7-8 lbs. But since i'm allowed to walk i decided to go to the park with one of my friends. But i don't have a car, and my mom has to work this whole week. Spring break? That doesn't exist for me. And tonight after dinner it was gorgeous outside. The sun was starting to set, and there was a slight cool breeze outside. Pretty much perfection. So i wanted to ride my bike, then my parents said that i'd be in a whole lot of trouble if i did that. So i was gonna sit on my rooftop outside my window and read, it's one of my favorite things to do. And yes, you guessed it, i wasn't allowed to do that either! So here i am, pretty frustrated, feeling like i should be able to do something! Atleast sit on my rooftop! And it is one of the hardest things for me to not be bitter about the situation and circumstances that i am in right now, and have been in for the past month and a half! It's so hard to trust God and to trust that He'll pull through for me. It's hard to trust in His Word, and to realize that "He works all things together for the good of those who love Him". [Romans 8:28] I know that God will pull through for me and work this all together for me, because i know that God's word is truth. But it's hard to believe that He will, when it seems that He hasn't yet. So i'm trying to focus on the good things right now. Like, 1- Even though my back is broken, i am not paralyzed! 2- I don't need surgery to help heal my back. And 3- we found out that we are getting way more money for my car, since it is totaled, than we actually paid for it! So even now God has already proven His faithfulness and His love for me! Though my circumstances be unpleasant and painful, He is here to comfort me every step of the way!

"Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms!" -Psalm 68:19

~Danae

OLYMPICS! :D

As you may know, or may not, the 2010 Winter Olympics are going on right now in Vancouver. And i am an olympic junkie, for lack of better phrasing. I absolutely love the olympics! Weather they're the normal olympics, or the winter olympics. I love them! That is pretty much the only thing that is on the tv in our house right now. For me, the Olympics are not just something that is an athletic competition. And it's not just something entertaining either. For me the Olympics are one of the last few things in this world that brings people together from everywhere around the world, putting aside everyone's differences and giving their all in doing something that they are passionate about. Tonight i was watching the men's snowboarding competition. Long story short, Shaun White won gold for the second time in a row. I was so excited! Snowboarding is my favorite thing to watch from the winter Olympics. When Shaun's spot as number one was secured he had another run, and on this one he was so excited, so passionate, and so carefree, cause his place was secured. So his last run he just went out there and had fun with it. It didn't matter what he did or how he did it. His place was secure. And this got me thinking.... Why don't we live life this way? Why don't we realize that once we give our life to God our place in Heaven is secure? And why doesn't that make us happy enough to live life carelessly, and passionately? In thinking this, i have been really convicted. I have lived my life focusing on what not to do, and every single thing that i should accomplish in my life. I haven't been living with the passion that i should. By giving my life to God i chose an everlasting life in Heaven with Him. That is something so amazing! God's love, that He would even accept me, or anyone else, cause we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, is so amazing and it is the very reason i have my spot up in Heaven for all of eternity."For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." -Psalm 57:10. So what's to worry about? What's to be uptight about? And if you haven't made that decision to make God the Lord of your life, then i so desperately urge you to do so. It is the best decision you will ever make. But if you have made that decision, and have made your heart open for God, then your spot in Heaven is secure because of God. So have fun, and live life passionately! There's nothing to lose!

You hold me now.

I really love this song. It so comforting to listen to in this time in my life. I realize how much God is in control and how He won't ever leave me. And that He is with me and helping me through this pain that i'm in because of my back. My dad kept on asking God why this had to happen to me. And God told my dad how this was an attack of the devil. And God is always re-assuring me of how he is providing for me, and helaing me. This song is one of the ways i realize this. The song is called You Hold Me Now, by Hillsong United.
This link is to listen to it on YouTube
You Hold Me Now, By:Hillsong United. [ClickHere]


On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace

All my fears swept away
In the light of your embrace
When Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence here to hold
Let these songs of heaven rise to you alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffring You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame,
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now

In this life i will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
When You're name is lifted high
And forever praises last
For the glory of Your Name
I'll be living for the day


Were the wars and violent cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven rise to you alone

No weeping, no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame.
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now

For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your name

No weeping, no hurt or pain

No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame,
No hiding You hold me now,
You hold me now.


~HillsongUnited [You Hold Me Now]

MRI

So since my car wreck that was Wednesday, the 3rd of February, I had gotten some x-rays done at the Chiropractor. The x-ray had shown that my virtebrae in my lower back were not aligned at all. In fact, they were off by almost an inch. Which doens't seem like a lot, but apparently when it comes to your back, that's pretty major. The chiropractor told me that this means there is most likely a fracture somewhere in my lower back that caused it to shift that much. She (my chiropractor) scheduled for me to get an MRI on the following Monday. That Sunday i went to church and it was pretty awesome, as usual. Then came Monday. My appointment was at 3:45, and it came all too soon. I've had a few MRI's in the past. I don't tend to like them, cause they're loud and they always give me headaches. At the MRI place one of their office workers goes to my church, she recognized us! And although that was prettycool, this MRI was worse then the ones in the past. I had to sit up straight the whole entire time, which was about 45 minutes total. It hurts my back really bad to sit, especially to sit straight up. But when the MRI was over I was told that they would send the report and results to my Chiropractor on Wednesday. Then Tuesday when i went in to the Chiropractor for my appointment she told me that she had already gotten the results from the MRI company that i had seen the day before. The receptionist brought the report to my chiropractor while i was in her office with my mom. And the report said that i for sure do have a fractured back. One of my vertibrae has popped out of it's place and got shoved under and behind a different one. They said that there may be an actual crack in the vertibrae, but if so, it is very small. When i heard all of this all i wanted to do was to cry. when i had first gotten my car my dad kept on telling me to be very careful cause if i get in a wreck then that's it, there's nothing to replace it with, and no money to replace it with either... Then only 4 weeks later i get in a wreck. It wasn't even my fault! I worked so had to keep my car safe and clean, and just to keep it in general. But no. It is now totaled, and i wasn't even the one who did it. The wreck wasn't my fault at all. But i couldn't avoid it. I saw the truck was going to hit me, and if i moved out of it's way i would've hit someone else. So there was nothing i could do to avoid it. I couldn't get out of it's way. I just saw it hit me. Then as if it's not enough for my car to be totaled, i have a broken back from it too! The doctor told me that i don't have to have surgery, the way they fix it is to pop the broken vertibrae back in it's place. Then we strengthen the muscles around it to make sure they hold it in place. But right now i have too much inflamation and soreness to be able to do that. I have to wait til this Friday, the 19th, then they can try to pop it back in... Eventhough this really sucks and i'm always in pain, i know that God is with me. He has been with me from before the wreck even happened. And i know that He works all this together for my good! I found out Wednesday that the insurance company is giving me more money for my totaled car than it's even worth! The KBB value of it is only about 600 dollars. We paid 800 dollars in January. Then they offer in 1,074 dollars for it! That is just one of the ways that God is providing for me! And one of the ways He is turning what the enemy meant for bad, into good! So i am hoping that i will get my dream car out of this! :) I am praying for a Jeep Cherokee! But no matter what i know that God will provide for me. So in the mean time, please be praying for me and that my back will heal soon. [the doctor said that i'll be out of all activities for a good 6-8 weeks]

~Danae   :)

Car Wreck......... :)

So last night i was in a car wreck. This guy driving a truck decided to make a left turn into me. And since he was driving a truck literally all i saw were the headlights right next to me on the otherside of my window. My car is totaled. From the front tire to the back tire is all dented in on the driver's side of my car. It messed up every panel of my car, and we can't open or lock the door, or roll down the window. His car was just scraped a lil, and he was missing part of his blinker light, then his fender was hanging just a couple inches. At first i couldn't get a hold of my mom. i had called her like, 3 or 4 times and she didn't answer. So i called one of the leaders at church freaking out and crying. Then my mom called me back. So she got to the gas station where me and the guy that hit me pulled off. By the time she had gotten there i already had the guys Driver's License number, License plate number, Make and model of his car. But other than that i didn't know what to do. Oh, and i had taken some pictures of the damages to both cars.. So my mom called the police to get an accident report. And we decided to do a self report form, which means that we get the files from the police officer and then we each fill it out and turn it in to our insurance companies. This way it won't go on either of our driving records! Thank goodness! Cause even though the accident wasn't my fault it would still go on my record. And that would have made the insurance sky rocket for my parents too! All-in-all after the wreck we were in that gas station parking lot for an hour. I wasn't that hurt. My shoulder was hurting like crazy though! But i was quite shaken up, so i hardly noticed it until i was on the way home.. So when we got home all i did was drop my stuff and sit on the couch. Then i noticed that when i was sitting there it hurt really bad to stay sitting upright. So i layed down. Then i felt a really really sharp pain in my stomach. It hurt so bad that i started crying. So my mom called my uncle, he is a paramedic, and told him everything. He said that i might have gotten a bruise from the seatbelt. So i checked to see if there was a bruise, and there wasn't. Then he told my mom to check and see if my pupils were dialating, and they were. So he told us that we really needed to go to the hospital... i was mad that i had to go. but i understood why. So at 12:30 Thursday morning we made it to the emergency room. And they said that i had hit my head and didn't realize it. And that the muscles in my stomach were messed with by the seatbelt. Then they gave me some medicine for pain. And i reluctantly took it, cause i hate taking medicine. Then at 1:30 we were on our way home. And i didn't sleep at all that night! I was in way too much pain to sleep! Everything, everywhere hurt really bad. Mainly my shoulder and my stomach. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, way too early, but atleast i'm able to get in. And they're going to do x-rays cause i have whip lash, then a few other things... The last time i was in a wreck was when i was 13 years old. I was in the front seat and someone turned infront of us. That wreck was really bad. It totaled the brand new lexus that turned in front of us. But from that wreck my mom got her dream car! A Suburban :P It seems lame to me. But she says that when i grow up and have kids i'll understand. Then when someone we had lended out the car handed down to me from my dad wrecked that car, it was totaled. But i got a super awesome car from that! And now my car is totaled. But i realize that it's all in God's hands. And that he will bless me just like he had blessed either me or my family every other time. In Psalms 139:5 it says, "You go before me and follow behind me. You have placed your hand of blessing upon my head." God was with me through that whole thing. I was, and am still in His protection. And He has placed His hand of blessing upon my head. I know without a doubt that God will provide for me. And He has my best intrest in mind. So even though i'm hurting really bad and my car is totaled, i know that it is all okay. My parents were telling me to try and look at everything positively and see it is being a blessing in disguise. But even if it isn't a blessing in disguise it doesn't matter. Cause i know that God was with me the whole time, and the grace that He has given me just to be able to be with me is more than enough of a blessing in and of itself.... Wednesday before the wreck happened, at youth someone gave his life to God. It was so exciting! Everyone was cheering, and we were all so proud of him.. Then i had my wreck. On top of that, yesterday my assistant youth pastor's wife was in a car wreck too. In the car was her (She's pregnant), and their daughter (She's a little over a year old). What are the chances of two people, from the same youth group, both in leadership, getting in a wreck within 24 hours of someone giving their life to God during the youth group service? Kirsten and I were texting eachother when it happened just talking about the possibilities of this being an attack of the enemy on our youth group. This makes me wonder what God has in store for us that the enemy is trying to stop from happening. Or it could be because that guy gave his life to God. And if it is, Then my car wreck was completely and totally worth it! That is the best decision that anyone can make in their entire life! And if it makes the devil that mad, then the wreck was worth it! One of my youth leaders once told me, "If you're not being attacked by the enemy, then that's a problem! Cause that means you're not attacking him!" And that is so true.. I love when great and amazing things happen, and you can tell that it's making the devil mad.. Even if this isn't a "Blessing in disguise", It was worth it.... It feels great to make the Devil mad!! 

~DanaeJ   :)
"I want to be the kind of Christian that scares the demons so much to where they pee themselves!"

If only this Life were Fair... Not!

Matthew 20




Parable of the Vineyard Workers

“For the Kingdom of Heaven is like the landowner who went out early one morning to hire workers for his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay the normal daily wage[a] and sent them out to work.
3 “At nine o’clock in the morning he was passing through the marketplace and saw some people standing around doing nothing. 4 So he hired them, telling them he would pay them whatever was right at the end of the day. 5 So they went to work in the vineyard. At noon and again at three o’clock he did the same thing.
6 “At five o’clock that afternoon he was in town again and saw some more people standing around. He asked them, ‘Why haven’t you been working today?’
7 “They replied, ‘Because no one hired us.’
“The landowner told them, ‘Then go out and join the others in my vineyard.’
8 “That evening he told the foreman to call the workers in and pay them, beginning with the last workers first. 9 When those hired at five o’clock were paid, each received a full day’s wage. 10 When those hired first came to get their pay, they assumed they would receive more. But they, too, were paid a day’s wage. 11 When they received their pay, they protested to the owner, 12 ‘Those people worked only one hour, and yet you’ve paid them just as much as you paid us who worked all day in the scorching heat.’
13 “He answered one of them, ‘Friend, I haven’t been unfair! Didn’t you agree to work all day for the usual wage? 14 Take your money and go. I wanted to pay this last worker the same as you. 15 Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’

I went into the Junior High Sunday school this past Sunday morning cause John Penry was teaching [me and my friend sarah go in there when he's teaching, we've known him for a while so we like to go in there and see him when we can] and he decided to teach on this scripture. So he had a student read all of it then he asked us this question: Why did the people who only worked for the end of the day get paid as much as the people who worked all day long?? And when he asked that question none of us had an answer. I re-read through the parable again, and i still didn't have an answer. Cause it just doesn't make sense. Then my friend, Sarah, made the statement, "But that's just not fair". And it really isn't fair to the other workers. They worked hard. They worked for a long time. And the others just worked for the end of the day.... So here i am, sitting at my desk thinking about this whole parable and thinking about why the landowner wasn't fair to the workers that worked the longest. At the beginning of the chapter it says how "the kingdom of Heaven is like this...." So that makes the landowner God.. Where is God unfair? How is God making our lives unfair? Well God is making our lives unfair in every way! That may seem weird, but hear me out. God is always making our lives unfair, and it's only for our advantage. If life were fair then we would all being going to hell. That's all there is to it. There's no way that i can say it and make it sound nice. It's the truth. If life were fair, then we would all be going to hell. But luckily God is unfair to us, and when we sin he gives us grace- By no means does that mean that we can sin and get away with it. God will still punish us for our sins, it's just that He chooses to forgive us. But the more i think about it, the more i realize that i take advantage of the grace that God gives me! I've taken advantage of the sacrifice that was made. And i take advantage of the blood that was shed, just so that i can be forgiven. How many times in your life do things go wrong and you blame it on God, or you assume that God doesn't have your best interest in mind? Well, for me this happens too often. It's almost as if i recieve grace willingly, but i won't give grace willingly. It wasn't the workers fault that they weren't picked to work at the beginning of the day.... But i kindof got off track a lil' :P Back to the question that was asked: Why did the people who only worked for the end of the day get paid as much as the people who worked all day long?? And the general consenses of the whole class was: It doesn't matter how much time you're given. It's just matter what you do with that time. The people who were hired at the end of the day still worked hard with the time they had. It wasn't their fault they weren't picked at the beginning of the day. So they still worked as hard as they could for as long as they were able to. Like, if someone was dying but they accepted Christ minutes before they died they still get into Heaven. Just like someone who accepted Christ when they were young. It doesn't matter how much time you have, it's just what you do with the time you're given.
So yeah. There's so many more things i could say about this. But this is all i'm gonna post for now(:
~RDanaeJ
"But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair." -Relient K