..::David::..

I've been putting off posting this for a while now. I couldn't figure out how to tell this story. But i guess I'll just start typing and hope it all works out :)

Wednesday night in LA we did a homeless ministry. The night had started out VERY spirit-lead. Before we were even to the Cannon--The place where the whole sha-bang went down--I was walking in my spiritual gifts so much to where when i looked at someone, i saw all of their dirt. It's like the Lord layed out their life before my eyes. It was insane. I had never felt my discernment so strong before in my life. Even some the people on the team. I felt so spiritually alert that i felt in-tune with everything that was going on. It was insane.

But that morning i was reading in Psalm 139. And the verses 5-10 really stuck out to me and were encouraging to me. Those verses say, "You go before me and follow me. You have placed your hand of blessing upon my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain! I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If i go up to the Heavens, you are there; if i go down tot he grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if i dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." And all day Tuesday i was feeling useless. I felt like i wasn't being used by God at all. That i was just another teenager there that hardly did anything--cause it really seemed like there were some youth groups that had ALOT of those teenagers that were acting like teenagers, if ya know what i mean??. So i woke up Wednesday not wanting to do any of the ministries cause i had convinced myself that i wasn't really doing anything. But then when i read this it really encouraged me. That when it said 'You have placed your hand of blessing upon my head' it helped me realize that whenever i talk to someone my words aren't just going in one ear and out the other, but He is blessing my words and my actions. That the things that we do as a team we aren't going to be in vain, we are planting the seed while the Dream Center reaps the fruit. Also when it talked about the Lord has gone before me and will follow me, it showed me how He has already destined people for me to talk to. People for me to minister to. Then when it said 'even there your hand will guide me,' I was really comforted by that cause i don't have to worry about who to talk to or what to say. Cause He is guiding me, no matter where I am, He has gone before and behind! But Wednesday really showed how that was true.
In the vans on the way to the Cannon a few of us just felt like that night was going to be incredibly blessed. That God was wanting to go above and beyond all our expectations. So we started praying, all of us, in the van. We were praying for that night so much in the van! You name it, we prayed for it. It was amazing! I could feel His presence right there with us in the van. Then there were people that were sharing words of encouragement and wisdom and anything God had given them. It was just amazing! But when we got to the parking garage i felt like Paradigm needed to all get together and pray for our Spiritual gifts to be activated within us. Cause it's not something that we can turn on and off like a light switch, it's something that we need to always be walking in, all the time. So we got together in a huge circle and warred for it. After that prayer was when i felt my discernment "kicking in"-- for lack of a better phrase :P so we grabbed all of the pizza, sodas, and the huge cross and were headed down to the cannon. Side note: which is actually a huge cannon on the corner of a lil park area next to the Santa Monica pier. Once we got there we had split up into our groups with protectors. Anthony actually pulled me into his group cause he knew that i didn't feel very safe at all with my protector before. So my group was Anthony, Kelli, Kirsten, and myself. And when we got to the cannon Kirsten and Kelli were talking to a guy, so that left me and Anthony standing there awkwardly watching their conversation. Then i saw this guy with a black shirt and a red backpack. Automatically i knew that we had to talk to him. So i told Anthony, then we went over there to talk. And his name was David. But when we were talking to him you could tell that he had fear, lots of it! He was afraid of living on the streets, and afraid of where he might end up. When we were talking to him we found out that he had just gotten out of jail one week ago, and that he had only been living on the streets for four days. His brother and sister-in-law had kicked him out of their house cause they all got in a huge fight. He kept on mentioning how we wanted out of the streets. That opened the door for us to tell him about the men's discipleship program at the Dream Center. But then we told him it was full, but we can hook him up somehow in the dream center, we'll just go talk to the leader guy for him. Then we asked if we could pray for him, and he said yes. So Anthony prayed for him. Then we had to go cause the service was starting. But he had told us a little earlier that he was hoping to get a coat cause it was really cold on the beach where he was sleeping. So we both had to remember to try and find him one later on. Then the service started with some testimonies-- Caleb/dontay and Bridgette did an amazing job on that! So the service went on and we talked to a few more people. Then we/me and Anthony went to go try and find David a coat or something. And then when the dream center people saw us messing with the clothes they stuck us with the job of sorting everything and folding everything. So that was kind of annoying, but i was happy to do it at the same time. Then we found a coat for him, but he walked up to us to say hi again and tell us that someone already gave him a coat. It was really cool to see that he had come up to talk to us again. I don't know why, but it was cool. So when we talked to him we said that the leader said that the men's discipleship program was full, but they always had people in and out every three or so days. Then we said "so, just stick around for a while and you can talk to the leader that we talked to." Then we had to finished with the clothes. And it took a little while, then we had to pack it up again. But after that since we were done with that and things were starting to wrap up Anthony went to get David so he could talk to the leader and get information about how to contact the dream center about the opening in the next three days. But a few minutes after Anthony left to get David he came back and told me he couldn't find him! So We left Kelli and Kirsten with PNick and we went up and down the park. But we couldn't find him anywhere! It was so discouraging! I felt like that was it, it was over. But God convicted me for thinking that. Cause just because we couldn't find him doesn't deny the work that we had already done. We had already encouraged him, talked with him, and even prayed for him. So it was wrong of me for thinking that it was useless cause we couldn't find him. So as we were walking back i still felt like he was meant to show up again, he was mean to go to the dream center. I just had such a peace about it that i knew without doubt that he was the one that i was supposed to talk to. But that didn't help the fact that we couldn't find him to let him talk to the leader and get information on the dream center. It was still upsetting. But i wasn't going to give up. When we got back to the cannon we looked all around there when everyone was and we looked alot! But he still didn't show up. So Anthony said that he was gonna look up towards the street, so i stayed back with the group. And i had enough of David not showing up, so i just prayed. I was like, 'God, that's it. I know he's meant for this. I know he's the one that i was supposed to talk to. He was the divine appointment! He needs to show up right now!' And right as i said that i hear Anthony yell my name and i see him over by the corner of the street walking back with David, with his new coat and his red backpack. So we took David over to the leader and they talked for a while. Then in the end David got a new coat, a paper with Dream Center contact information, and five dollars for a pay phone and bus fare.
It was amazing! I felt such a peace about everything that had happened to where i could never doubt the importance of myself or anyone else. Cause God can, and WILL, use anyone! :)
And that's my David story....
The~End

Pray... Please...

Email I got from the missionaries i worked with the past two times i went to Kenya...

This is grace--->

We’re asking prayers for Langata GCC’s Grace Nduta, who has been taken by ambulance to Gertrude’s Garden Children’s Hospital. Dr. Komen, and David and I, became alarmed this morning when she woke with facial edema, feeling very ill. Enroute to hospital she began to vomit and have difficulty breathing. Initial comments from hospital medical personnel receiving her at Gertrude’s include swollen liver, respiratory difficulties and – perhaps – kidney failure… She is on a drip, oxygen and undergoing a battery of tests.
Until this morning, I had last seen Grace on the GCC playground late Thursday afternoon. Housemum Juliet reports Grace felt fine from then, and all through Friday, but became a little dull just before bedtime last night. Pray for the housemums, the other GCC Building A children, and for David and me. We’ve been here before and, to date and more often than not, the HIV/AIDS child in question is nearing the end of his/her earthly life when the respiratory and kidney problems become acute. However, we also know that God Is Able! - and we now place the outcome in His hands.
As we have prayed for and spoken of Grace today, David continues to recall how happy she has been these last several months. If you have been a member of a ministry team visiting CMIA here in Kenya from March this year, you have been largely responsible for Grace’s joy of late. Thank you all for the very special ministry you brought to ALL our Grace Children’s Centre child-residents in 2009. Unforgettable times for each and every one. A very special season for little Grace…
Thank you for keeping Grace - and all of us here - before the Lord in the hours to come. We will be back in touch with additional news of her condition as we have it…
In His Service In Africa…
Jennifer, and for David

[The missionaries in Kenya i worked with]

My LA Summary....(:

Me and Ashley at the observitory thing :D


This is going to be super hard for me to write out. But I'm going to try my hardest.



So here it goes...



Over all I've learned to never underestimate. Never underestimate your peers, your leaders, and your own ability and strength. This trip was the most challenging for me, more challenging for me than Kenya was. Cause in Kenya, yes you have to get used to the crap food, and the jetlag. But this trip to LA was more challenging simply because i had to be bold and outgoing. For anyone who really knows me, you'd know that those things aren't my strengths. I can be outgoing when i'm around people that i know, and am not afraid to make a fool of myself around. But to just randomly walk up to a homeless person and strike up a conversation with them was hard. When you're going to walk up to them all of these questions pop up into your head, they distract you. Like, What are you going to say? What if they don't speak english? What if they're closed off and ignore you? These questions were always in my mind, but i learned that they're hindering me. I learned that if i do go up and talk to them, and pray for them, then I'll actually make a difference. That's why i'm being distracted. Why would the devil waste his time messing with someone's mind if they weren't going to make a difference. One thing that Aaron Money always told me when i was in 7th grade was that 'If i'm not being attacked by the devil, then i'm not attacking him. And if i'm not attacking him, then there's a problem.' So when God showed me that the only thing keeping me from doing His will on that trip, and talking to people that He's destined for me to talk to, is doubt. And the reason i have this doubt is because I'm going to make a difference and be used by God. So it was an eye opener and an encouragement all in one.


While i was on this trip i also got the most compassion i ever thought possible. I didn't even know i could feel this MUCH compassion. I was always heart sick for people. Even driving in the van, my eyes would randomly start to water, just because i really felt God's heart for these people. One time when we were driving home from something- I think we were driving home from the burger place- I saw this little girl and her dad walking down the street. He was dressed casually, but the thing that caught my attention was that she was dressed in spandex leggings, a tight shirt, big earrings, make up!, and sandals with a heel on them. Immediately i thought 'Whoa, she's way too young to be wearing that! Why didn't her dad make her change?' Then God gave me a vision. In that vision it was the same girl walking down the same street. She was with an older man, but not her dad. She was wearing the same kind of clothes too. She had spandex with a tight shirt, big earrings, lots of make up, and heels. She looked like a prostitute. She was a prostitute. Her dad was never there for her, he never was a daddy to her. So she did what she wanted. She was never told right from wrong. Her father was never a father. She never got a dad's love. So she started to look for it in other things. In other men. That's why she ended up the way she did- a prostitute. She gives her love to others cause her dad never gave his love to her. Then i felt like my heart had broken into millions of pieces. I wanted to scoop that little girl that i saw walking down the sidewalk up into my arms and give her a hure hug! But i couldn't. I could feel in my spirit sorrow and pain. I felt what God felt. God kept on telling me that it's because her earthly dad never loved her the way he was supposed to is the reason she won't allow her Heavenly father's love into her life. He desires to scoop her up into His arms and give her a huge hug. But He can't either.


It hurt... I cried when i was sitting there in the van... I couldn't even imagine, then when God showed me, i didn't want to imagine it again. It hurt too bad... But that's how He feels about everyone...
There's a lot more. But I'll post more later :)

Awesome quote i found earlier...

People are like stained glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out.
But when the darkness sets in,
Their true beauty is only shown if there is a light inside.

Picture.. (:

This is one of my favorite pictures from the Kenya trip.. I had no idea it was being taken too. Ah sweet candid shots! I can take some candid shots, unlike someone else on the team... You know who you are... LONDON!! :D

I just wanted to post it, cause i haven't been able to share it with anyone yet. So here it is, Enjoy! :)

Idk what to title this.. but i think it's worth reading anyways :)

These are just some things that I've read lately and would like to share, but not do a complete post on each of them.....

I once read a book about a man named Viktor Frankl. Viktor was a Jew in a Nazi concentration camp in World War II. He lived in a flea infested and diseased area. He was constantly badgered, harassed, beaten, and made to carry burdens. Viktor said that in this Nazi concentration camp, he could tell when a person was getting ready to give up and die. He could look into the eyes of those around him and see when their attitudes began to change. He could also see it in their posture as they walked, when hopelessness had taken over their life. Although physically they could have survived and lived longer, mentally they had broken down. Viktor said that he could tell when they were ready to lay down, stop eating, give up and die. He said he could see it in their attitude. Viktor Frankl determined that there was one thing the Nazis could not control in his life; they could not control his attitude. He said, "The last of all human freedoms is the ability to choose one's own attitude regardless of circumstances."



We can believe that something will happen. We can even say that it will happen. But until we command it to happen, nothing will change. For faith is voice activated.



I said, "Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that He may shower righteousness upon you." ~Hosea 10:12



"My child listen to what i say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and consentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver, seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God." ~Proverbs 2:1-5

Oh Prophecies :/

Confusion has been a big part of my life lately!

This is how it happened: This past week my parents have been telling me all these prophecies that were spoken over me between the time when my mom was pregnant with me, to the time i was about 5 years old. But let me tell you this first- When i was at YFN when i was 12 God told me so clearly that I am called to be a missionary to Africa. So that's been my focus for the past 3ish years now. But this week my parents have randomly decided to tell me these prophecies and dreams saying that I am supposed to be a speaker, in front of hundreds of thousand of people.... I can't see myself being a speaker!!.... Like i am supposed to be the next Jeanne Mayo, but bigger! Like a Joyce Meyers. So i've gotten used to the thought of me being a speaker. But what about the missionary part?? In my mind i keep saying that I must have heard God wrong. I was only twelve, so it could've easily been a mistake. But It's just one of those things to where i have to rely on God so much more than I'm comfortable with.

Then on top of that. At dinner the other night my mom told me that she has been feeling like I am going to be called away from Paradigm! I can't even imagine not being at Paradigm!! I don't even want to be away from Paradigm. She believes that It'll happen within the next few weeks. And for those of you reading this- Yall are the only ones who know, so don't tell anyone, please and thank you :).- This is more shocking than the speaker thing!!

This is what my past week has been like. Change after change after change.

I shared the prophecies with the prayer team, and Jenna gave me some great advice. She told me that i should go into the Bible and see what all these different people had to go through to get where they were. To be encouraged my their stories, and to realize that they went through a time when they were in a place of waiting for things to come to pass in their own lives. Cause i think back to the time when i spoke in Kenya, both at the boy's home and the youth conference, and i want to speak. I want to get up in front of people and be the vessel for God to use. I want to be God's instrument in telling people what God is trying to tell them. So i desire so much to be a speaker now, but i can't be a speaker now. It's hard to understand why i was told all of these prophecies when i can't do anything about it. I can't speak in front of hundreads of thousands of people right now. But i realize that I was told this now so that I can prepare for it. During the prayer meeting Jordan Wood also was very encouraging. So between him and Jenna im good now :P And i took jenna's advice and went to the Bible to find some stories of different people who became something amazing but had to go through the time of preparation. So i felt like i should open the Bible up to Acts 6. Which just so happens to be about Stephen! Stephen was one of the 7 guys that the disciples chose to run a food program so they could get the ministry and teaching done. They were too occupied with the food program so the ministry began to fall a little. Therefore they got 7 well respected guys who would run it. Stephan was one of them. The Bible said that Stephen was a man full of God's faith, and Holy Spirit. It also says that he was a man full of God's grace and power. Even though he was working in a feeding program, which is a less than glorious job :P, He still performed miracles and signs in front of the people there. And just because i'm not the speaker that i am called to be, and just because i don't have the glorious job- i'm just a student leader- doesn't mean that i can't be used by God where i am. Right before Stephen got stoned to death He looked up and saw the glory of God and saw Jesus sitting at His right hand. No one else ever got to see that, not even Moses or Abraham- who are pretty hardcore people. So God has been showing me how i've been told those prophecies so i can have something to look forward to and to work to achieve.
And that's exactly what I'll do :)