Problems...
Doesn't it seem like whenever things are going great you just know that something bad is gonna happen. It's like things are too good to be true sometimes. Well, that's how my kenya trip has been going. Everything has been great, i haven't had to worry about money cause i had this unshakable faith that God was gonna pull through. And he will. It's just that my "un-shakeable" faith has been hit, over and over again. The stronger I am the harder it is. The stronger I am the more of a threat I am to the devil. And the devil realizes that we have authority over him and his works. So he will do anything to break us down, and to blindfold our eyes from our authority, and power, and even The amazing God that we have on our side. But with the faith that i had i wasn't going to let anything in my way! Nothing was going to stop me from returning to Kenya! But i have this MAJOR money deadline coming up, I MUST have 2,400$ by this wednesday. But another thing is; I have to have it, but times four. Cause my dad and two sisters are coming along. So for those of you who have either failed math or are failing that's 9,600$!!! in less than a week!!! Now.. i know that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." but it doesnt seem like i can, it doesnt seem like God will. So in the midst of all this panic, anxiousness, fear, and so much more please be praying fro me and my family as we take another journey to Kenya, Africa.
Friday, April 24, 2009
A Calling!
Since i've been 11 years old i've known that i am called to be a missionary!
It started at a youth camp [youth for the nations] my first year in paradigm, my my youth group... let me re-phrase that... my AMAZING youth group.
And there was this Great speaker- one of my favorite speakers- Adam mcCain. He was speaking about knowing your purpose in this life, and how God has created us for a different purpose to all work together in the Body of Christ. I have always had a heart to reach others, and a deep compassion for sharing the Love that God has for us with others. but i had no idea that god would call me to be a missionary!! and later that night Adam McCain had an alter call for all of us who didn't know our purpose in life, aka- our calling. So of course i went up and got prayed over by SO many people. Then went back to my seat.. dissapointed.. and let down... God didn't tell me ANYTHING or the people that prayed over me anything at all! Did this mean I didn't have a calling? was i called to be a nobody? I was only eleven so i didn't have a firm grasp on what God could do, and how truly powerful He is. {And no one REALLY knows the extent of His power, It's just trusting Him and having the faith that He DOES have the power.} The the rest of the night went by... it came... and went. Feeling useless i went to the dorm and went to sleep as soon as i could. Then at about 3 am in the morning God woke me up and told me to start writing! it was too dark to see anything, and i couldn't turn on the light cause it would wake everybody else up. So i just obeyed. I got up, and stumbled around the room for my notebook. I seriously probably kicked every piece of furniture there was in that room! Then kicked it again to get back to my bed! I sat down and started writing, I had no idea what i was writing! But i just wrote. Then God told me to get back to sleep and he'll reveal the rest of it in devotions later that morning...
And He did!! I basically scarfed down breakfast, {Which actually is normal, cause the faster you eat the food the less you taste it! and for those of you cfni-ers and yfn-ers ya'll know its much more bearable that way! so less taste is a good thing when it comes to c.f.n.i. cafeteria food. hahaha ;P.... so true, so true.} Then i practically ran over to when devotions were gonna be... and i looked at my phone and it was 40 minutes EARLY!!! ugh, sitting on the porch, bored, stomache sick from food, and slightly anxious. It was the longest 40 minutes of my life! But it finally passed and devotions started( : The devotional message was waaaay different then what God had in store for me, It was something about Love and Grace. Then as always we split up to have a quiet time w/God for the last 20 minutes of Devotions. That was when God really showed me all of my calling. I was called to be a missionary, He didn't tell me any specific place, but I really feel called to Africa. That is where my Heart is. From that morning on my heart was burning with a compassion for the lost and lonely people!! Then a missions trip to Peru came up. It wasnt Africa, But i wanted and needed to go bad! I went to go get an application, but they said i couldn't, I wasnt old enough.... That broke me. I didnt know what to say, what to do. If i had a passion this strong and burning so much then why couldn't i go on a trip to Peru?? It didn't make any sense to me... at the time. I realized that just because i wanted to go didn't mean that God was leading me to go. But a whole year and a half weny by... no missions trip for me... Then i felt strongly- more strong than this compassion had ever been- that I was supposed to go to Kenya. Why kenya? I had no idea why, But when God places that fire within you that's all the reason you need. It's just something that after you get, you can't get rid of it!!.. like milaria.. But GOOD:P lol. [since milaria is a bad sickness that stays w/you forever once you get it] So I went on with life and then I shared how i felt for Kenya with my old prototype group and the Leader [mrs.Liz] She said that there was gonna be a mission trip to kenya this coming summer, but they cancelled it!! I got my hopes up soo much, then they crumbled to the ground. A couple months later it was opened up!! So i went up SOOO EXCITED to the "Kenya missions trip" table and i read the application. It was for ages 15 and up!! I mean, What the heck is going on God!!!??? [i was 14, and its not that i was gonna turn 15 in a couple months or anything.. i had JUST turned 14, literally 2 weeks earlier] Major dissapointment, but oh no! i wasn't gonna let this stop me at all!! i was determined!! I was gonna go to Kenya no matter what it took!!.. So i singed up anyways :P hahaha. Then came the first meeting.. The team leaders were talking about all of the violence that was going on in kenya at the time.- We all probably remember the wars that were going on due to Political stuff, and people being upset [upset is a major understatment]- And that everyother church is backing out from going to Kenya! It sounded like a major problem. EVERYONE was backing out... But we weren't. The leaders of the trip had felt like since everyone else was backing out that its of even more importance we remain faithful to Gods call and proceed to Kenya.. So we did. And June 8th came around It was simply the greatest day of my life!! the pre-trip jitters, we had to sit through a service together before we left.. I was bouncing around in my seat the whole time!!! Anxiousness overwhelmed all of us. We couldn't sit still. We couldn't be quiet, WE WERE GOING TO KENYA!!....and long story short, Kenya was the greatest thing ever!!..... I came back forever changed by this trip...
So now im going again this summer, the Kenya '09 trip. But my dad and both my sisters are coming [my dad went last year too]. So that's 3000$ times 4! I know what youre thinking... Whoa, that's a lotta money. But one thing that my Youth Pastor always says is "If it's God's will it's God's bill" Basically If God wants you to go he'll make the way. He will provide. He will prepare. And He will see it through. Done&Done. :P haha. But the calling is still here, within. One thing that one of my friends [joshpaul] has taught me is that your calling starts once you recieve it, not once it's "fulfilled" or almost fulfilled. There's no end to your calling. There's not just one point in time to where you can say "Okay, now i'm done. Now im finished and my calling is fulfilled." cause you will never be finished, and God will never be finished using you to further His kingdom. And i believe that that's something every christian has to come to realize at one point or another. Cause like- in my case- If i were ONLY called to Africa then why wasn't i born there?. We are all called to be missionaries! We are all called to be fishers of men. And it doesn't start once you're half way around the world [or where ever you feel lead] It starts exactly where you are, At this moment, Right now.
It started at a youth camp [youth for the nations] my first year in paradigm, my my youth group... let me re-phrase that... my AMAZING youth group.
And there was this Great speaker- one of my favorite speakers- Adam mcCain. He was speaking about knowing your purpose in this life, and how God has created us for a different purpose to all work together in the Body of Christ. I have always had a heart to reach others, and a deep compassion for sharing the Love that God has for us with others. but i had no idea that god would call me to be a missionary!! and later that night Adam McCain had an alter call for all of us who didn't know our purpose in life, aka- our calling. So of course i went up and got prayed over by SO many people. Then went back to my seat.. dissapointed.. and let down... God didn't tell me ANYTHING or the people that prayed over me anything at all! Did this mean I didn't have a calling? was i called to be a nobody? I was only eleven so i didn't have a firm grasp on what God could do, and how truly powerful He is. {And no one REALLY knows the extent of His power, It's just trusting Him and having the faith that He DOES have the power.} The the rest of the night went by... it came... and went. Feeling useless i went to the dorm and went to sleep as soon as i could. Then at about 3 am in the morning God woke me up and told me to start writing! it was too dark to see anything, and i couldn't turn on the light cause it would wake everybody else up. So i just obeyed. I got up, and stumbled around the room for my notebook. I seriously probably kicked every piece of furniture there was in that room! Then kicked it again to get back to my bed! I sat down and started writing, I had no idea what i was writing! But i just wrote. Then God told me to get back to sleep and he'll reveal the rest of it in devotions later that morning...
And He did!! I basically scarfed down breakfast, {Which actually is normal, cause the faster you eat the food the less you taste it! and for those of you cfni-ers and yfn-ers ya'll know its much more bearable that way! so less taste is a good thing when it comes to c.f.n.i. cafeteria food. hahaha ;P.... so true, so true.} Then i practically ran over to when devotions were gonna be... and i looked at my phone and it was 40 minutes EARLY!!! ugh, sitting on the porch, bored, stomache sick from food, and slightly anxious. It was the longest 40 minutes of my life! But it finally passed and devotions started( : The devotional message was waaaay different then what God had in store for me, It was something about Love and Grace. Then as always we split up to have a quiet time w/God for the last 20 minutes of Devotions. That was when God really showed me all of my calling. I was called to be a missionary, He didn't tell me any specific place, but I really feel called to Africa. That is where my Heart is. From that morning on my heart was burning with a compassion for the lost and lonely people!! Then a missions trip to Peru came up. It wasnt Africa, But i wanted and needed to go bad! I went to go get an application, but they said i couldn't, I wasnt old enough.... That broke me. I didnt know what to say, what to do. If i had a passion this strong and burning so much then why couldn't i go on a trip to Peru?? It didn't make any sense to me... at the time. I realized that just because i wanted to go didn't mean that God was leading me to go. But a whole year and a half weny by... no missions trip for me... Then i felt strongly- more strong than this compassion had ever been- that I was supposed to go to Kenya. Why kenya? I had no idea why, But when God places that fire within you that's all the reason you need. It's just something that after you get, you can't get rid of it!!.. like milaria.. But GOOD:P lol. [since milaria is a bad sickness that stays w/you forever once you get it] So I went on with life and then I shared how i felt for Kenya with my old prototype group and the Leader [mrs.Liz] She said that there was gonna be a mission trip to kenya this coming summer, but they cancelled it!! I got my hopes up soo much, then they crumbled to the ground. A couple months later it was opened up!! So i went up SOOO EXCITED to the "Kenya missions trip" table and i read the application. It was for ages 15 and up!! I mean, What the heck is going on God!!!??? [i was 14, and its not that i was gonna turn 15 in a couple months or anything.. i had JUST turned 14, literally 2 weeks earlier] Major dissapointment, but oh no! i wasn't gonna let this stop me at all!! i was determined!! I was gonna go to Kenya no matter what it took!!.. So i singed up anyways :P hahaha. Then came the first meeting.. The team leaders were talking about all of the violence that was going on in kenya at the time.- We all probably remember the wars that were going on due to Political stuff, and people being upset [upset is a major understatment]- And that everyother church is backing out from going to Kenya! It sounded like a major problem. EVERYONE was backing out... But we weren't. The leaders of the trip had felt like since everyone else was backing out that its of even more importance we remain faithful to Gods call and proceed to Kenya.. So we did. And June 8th came around It was simply the greatest day of my life!! the pre-trip jitters, we had to sit through a service together before we left.. I was bouncing around in my seat the whole time!!! Anxiousness overwhelmed all of us. We couldn't sit still. We couldn't be quiet, WE WERE GOING TO KENYA!!....and long story short, Kenya was the greatest thing ever!!..... I came back forever changed by this trip...
So now im going again this summer, the Kenya '09 trip. But my dad and both my sisters are coming [my dad went last year too]. So that's 3000$ times 4! I know what youre thinking... Whoa, that's a lotta money. But one thing that my Youth Pastor always says is "If it's God's will it's God's bill" Basically If God wants you to go he'll make the way. He will provide. He will prepare. And He will see it through. Done&Done. :P haha. But the calling is still here, within. One thing that one of my friends [joshpaul] has taught me is that your calling starts once you recieve it, not once it's "fulfilled" or almost fulfilled. There's no end to your calling. There's not just one point in time to where you can say "Okay, now i'm done. Now im finished and my calling is fulfilled." cause you will never be finished, and God will never be finished using you to further His kingdom. And i believe that that's something every christian has to come to realize at one point or another. Cause like- in my case- If i were ONLY called to Africa then why wasn't i born there?. We are all called to be missionaries! We are all called to be fishers of men. And it doesn't start once you're half way around the world [or where ever you feel lead] It starts exactly where you are, At this moment, Right now.
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